Events of the last few weeks

So I started the month working overnights. And at a house where residents go to bed by 9pm...leaving me alone in the house from 9pm till 7am. Nightly cleaning takes maybe 2 hours...if you go really slowly. Which leaves 8 hrs to sit, watch tv, drink coffee, and stay awake. I was really bored. And starting that again next week. UGH.

Last week and this week...I'm working days. Including Christmas day and Boxing Day (not that that seems like a holiday to me...but it is a paid holiday here in Canada.)

I had a root canal done about 2 weeks ago now. The need for it came on suddenly, just like the other times. :( But thankfully I found a good dentist here, thanks to a co-workers reccomendation. And my dental insurance covered 80%. :) Even better. I did have to pay up front. But got my check back fairly quickly. (would have been quicker if my workplace had told the insurance company I'd moved!) Oh well. I'll have to remind them. Again. :(

My involvement in underwater hockey has been fun. We had more new people out last week, so it was quite fun. Hopefully by this time next month...we'll have enough people for a scrimage at the end of the sessions!

Less Ugh...More Ahhh

So the Dr visit on Monday was...interesting and helpful. Interesting in that I got to see again the differences in the Canadian vs. US medical systems firsthand. Helpful in that I got a possible resolution to my problem with the assurance of other options of this one doesn't work. :) The interesting part is that routine Gynacology (pap smears, exams, etc) are done by GPs/Family practice/primary care doctors. So with that in mind...my next full physical...will be a full physical. Everything including gynacology. (Although pap tests are suggested at 2 years at my age/lack of family history instead of every year--the comment Dr. K made when I said it had been 14 months and I needed a new test was "American health care...they just want the money!" Which seems to be the common perception here in Canada. But since nothing has really changed for me...other than a fairly normal (for me) increase in pain levels during my period, no test until my next physical. The cramps have always kind of come and gone, gotten better or worse. And now..it's becoming worse. So as I discussed this with Dr. K., he came up with several possibilities to ending my pain. Some seemed better, some worse. We're starting with a stronger NSAID than the advil I've been using. If this isn't better (or the side effects are too much) we'll try something else.





Until then, I have several things (OK...maybe more than several...like several dozen!) to do.



I have a band concert on Sunday. It's our Christmas concert and I think Pat and a couple of other friends will be coming out to watch. :)



UWH (underwater hockey) is really starting to gear up. I'm the primary organizer (which is funny as until this week...I've never been in snorkeling gear for more than 15 or 20 minutes at a time!) And this week...I was in the pool, in full gear and doing drills(!) for more than a hour. Wow...tiring, but satisfying too. Rob (the coach here in my hometown) and James (the organizer in the next town over) were there to give me my first lesson. Two experienced players to one newbie hardly seemed fair, but that's just how it went. Hopefully...the next time we try this it will go better. And have more people!

Better get to my stuff...still have some cleaning to do, as well as decorating a tree, a house and baking...Wow...I've got a busy day ahead!

UGH!!!!!!

So a few days ago, I came home from work, tired, feeling a bit under the weather and planning on a nice evening at home, catching up on some email and relaxing, playing a bit on the computer. But the computer had other ideas. :( First, the screen went, well, wonkey. The bottom 1/2 looked like a channel is off pattern from the TV, the top 1/2 looked like TV snow. :(

I turned the computer off, waited a few minutes and turned it back on. Or tried to. It wouldn't start. My computer is (was) a Compaq laptop. It was only 16 months old. I bought it at Best Buy. Took it there. Yeah...$90 +tax to look at it ( with 10% taxes...about $100). Best guess...needs a new motherboard. Cost--$450 for the part and $150 to install (that's on top of the $100 diagnostic charge). Total---$700. Promise this won't happen again in a few months? None. Ugh.

So I looked around, shopped around....and still spent $700! But I have a brand new shiny laptop. With a larger screen. More RAM and ROM. And a 3 year, it's all covered warrenty (including battery, power cord, everything!). So this shouldn't happen to me again anytime soon. Oddly enough...it's from Staples. Much better deal and much better service agreement. Cheaper service agreement too.

Service contract good worldwide, anyplace I can find a Staples store. They'll even keep track of my service agreement for me so if I lose the receipt or it fades...I'm still covered. :)

A few other UGHS! while I'm on a roll....

I have to take my car back to the states sometime in the next few months. It's had 2 recalls on it recently. I don't need to take it all the way back to MN, I can just go down to ND. But still.....UGH!

And UGH! My first negative (but only slightly) with the Canadian Health Care system. Before going to a specialist (of any kind) you have to be referred by a GP or Family practice physician. OK, I get that. I even kind of agree. Keeps the more neurotic among us from wasting time of those who really need the specialists help. But oddly enough...OB/GYNs are considered specialists. So since my cramps have been bugging me lately....I go in to my GP on Monday. Maybe he'll just deal with it. I've been told most GP's in Canada will do pap tests and such (mine had asked how long it had been when I had my physical (about 9 months at that time)...and since it hadn't been a year he just said, "So you don't need one right now" I didn't even consider that he was planning on doing it! Hmmm... interesting. Being able to deal with all your basic health needs at one office. So is this what it's like to be a guy? ;)

On the up side of my life recently....

I'm starting to play an odd game. Underwater Hockey. Yes, it really IS a sport. It's also called Octopush. It's played in quite a few countries. As a matter of fact...the world championships in 2012 are being held in Minnesota! So I've been swimming quite a bit. And losing some weight (or at least some inches...I had to buy a belt to keep several pairs of pants from falling to my hips!)

I got a letter from the IRS. (wait...shouldn't that be in the UGH catagory?) ;) Actually...it wasn't from the IRS...just forwarded by them. It was from a company trying to find me because a previous employer needs to contact me about an old retirement fund. :) Last I knew...I had about $1000 in it. (Doubt I have that much now...I'm pretty sure most of that was invested in the market!) But regardless....at least my funds will be catching up with me.

Fixed it!

I'm becomming quite the handyperson....both at home and work!

At work I've been fixing screen doors, putting doors back on hinges, filling/sanding/painting holes, repairing air vents...all the round the house stuff most people do on a weekly basis that haven't been getting done at the house.

At home...this morning I fixed a toilet. I replaced all the insides with all new insides and installed a new handle as well. Took about an hour (25 minutes or so was just getting the old stuff out...needed the locking wrench to get enough torque. :( And the directions say to just hand tighten...definately not just hand tightened or very, very old--but I'm betting on not just hand tightened!) And now...for the first time since we've moved in...that toilet is working like a toilet should! I'm so proud.

And it's nice to be appreciated when I do such things. Pat was happy it got fixed, the landlord is happy we take care of such things without calling expensive professional help. And work thinks I'm the best thing to come along since sliced bread. :)

Rememberance Day

Wednesday here in Canada was Rememberance Day. Yes, I know the US does have Vetran's Day that day too, but there is more...emphisis on the day here in Canada. I think there was this year in the US, due to what happened at Ft. Hood, but this is an every year occurance in Canada. Businesses, schools, some stores close for the day. Almost every community has a service of some kind. And everywhere, things stop at 11am, for two minutes of silence.

I was with my community band on Rememberance Day. We went to a smaller town to play for their ceremony. We started the program as people came in with marches (felt a bit odd for me--no Sousa here!) and old WWI and WWII favorite pop tunes. During the ceremony we played the National Anthem (O, Canada) and the Royal Anthem (God Save the Queen--Which I tend to think of as My Country tis of thee). I'm glad when I'm playing for these...I'm not sure what proper etiqette is...do I stand? Do I sing? Do I stay quiet? I've heard O, Canada enough now that I know the words. I could sing along. It's really a nice melody and the word are pretty good too. (I'll write them out at the bottom of this post for those who want to see them)

We also played several hymns. That felt a bit different. There is no overwelming sense of....religious fervor here in Canada. But a very great strong silent faith. I mentioned on the bus back after the ceremony how different it felt to have so much..religion in a patriotic holiday at a public ceremony (They are called services up here, with good reason as pastors/priests helped organize and led the time!) There were scripture readings, prayers, hymns. Can you imagine (if you are reading this from the states) your local town doing this?

Later that evening I went to a Rememberance Day concert given by a friend's choir. (not a church choir, but a secular, men's vocal group) Again, quite a bit of religious music, poetry and a talk by a local minister. It's really felt a bit odd to me to be part of that. Oddly...my friend noticed I didn't sing with the Anthems (both were sung that night) I don't know the words to "God Save the Queen" and didn't think the words I knew to the tune would be appreciated so I stayed quiet. He seemed to think it's ok if I sing "O, Canada" if i know the words. I really would like to know before the last football game on Nov. 22. If it's ok, I'll sing along then.

The words to O, Canada

O, Canada. Our home and native land. True patriot love in all thy sons command. With glowing hearts we see thee rise, the true north strong and free. From far and wide, O Canada, we stand on guard for thee. God keep our land, glorious and free. O Canada we stand on guard for thee. O Canada we stand on guard for thee.

Differences...or why "I" have a an accent!

So I mentioned that I've been once again noticing differences. I think I'll start with pronounciation, move on into spelling and finish with some new vocab. :)

Again--in the upper midwest US it sounds like a-gen (with a hard g as in garbage)
--in Canada it sounds like a-gane, with a long a in the middle of it.

About--US--a bout
--Canada--a bute

Amen--US--ay men
--Canada--ah men

Against--US--a ginst
--Canada--ay gainst
almost any a is pronounced just differently enough for me to stand out.

Spelling...check vs cheque, color vs. colour, honor vs. honour tomato vs tomatoe (oh wait that's in both countries!--lol)

New words--well, this one isn't new, but i hear it a lot more here--queue.
--touque (a stocking cap)


Oh...and a new sport (at least to me, although I've been told there is a pretty good team in MN) Underwater Hockey. :) Yep...play with a puck and a mini stick and snorkeling equipment. Talk about kind of an odd game. And I may even get a chance to try to play it.

Updates....

So it's been a month since I've written....

Not a huge amount happening in my life. :) It feel nice to say that. No crisises. No drama. No huge worries. I'm almost bored.

But just busy enough that that isn't going to happen anytime soon!

Next week my concert band is going to a neighboring town to play for their Remembrance Day ceremonies. (For the Americans reading this...that's Veteran's Day, but with much more...emphasis. Similar to Memorial Day ceremonies, but only for military) I'm seeing poppies spring up on so many coats. It's amazing to me. I mean, the VFW in the US does give away those cheap red flowers outside malls/stores when you make a donation, but these are really nice looking red poppies that are springing up everywhere I look. It's going to be an odd day for me. I know very few of the songs we're playing (Battle Hymn of the Republic, God Save the Queen (or My Country Tis of Thee), the hymns we're playing.) All the other songs...Canadian patriotic songs. I feel almost foolish when the Director says "Now I know you all know the melody line to this one...It's Maple Leaf Forever" But I have no idea what that sounds like! Oh well. We're going by bus, so that should give me a couple of hours to get to know people a bit better too. :)

We (Pat and I) had about 10 people over for Canadian Thanksgiving. Which is a Monday in October instead of a Thursday in November. It felt a bit strange to be celebrating Thanksgiving so early. I may decide to invite some people over near the end of the month for American Thanksgiving. (Some of the foods are different here too. No green beans topped with onions, no sweet potato pie...but perogies. Which are good too. ;) But I kind of missed the green beans!) So if I do that, it will probably be some of the people from work and band...and I'll be making the green beans and sweet potatoes I'm used to.


I'm off to the last house for work in December/January. Then back to the first house again come February. Hard to believe it's been 7 months since I moved up here! I have the paperwork started for permanent residency. Still have to do an interview with the provincial immigration people. Then hopefully...in 6-9 months....a permanent resident card. :)

I really need to start writing more...I'm thinking now of all these other things I should be writing down about things I've been learning in Canada. So I guess...another post should be coming soon!

Happy Birthday (edited)

to me. :)

It's been a while since I've posted. Not much has been occuring in my life lately. Today is my birthday. In a couple of short years I'll go from being in the 30s to being in my 40s. And on some days, I can really feel it!


Some of the things that have been happening in the the past few weeks....

I joined a concert band that meets once a week. It's great fun and helps me meet some people not either already friends with Pat or that I work with. It's still a bit hard, as I'm not the most outgoing person in the world, but I've met a few people and am starting to enjoy playing again.

I have been doing Aquacize. Don't laugh...it's hard! 45 minutes of movement while having your body underwater. I felt a bit like I'd gone thru the ringer after my first day. But I'm not letting that stop me. And it is getting better. Most of the people in the group are ladies in their 50s or 60s, but I think there are a couple in their 40s. I'm definately the youngest of the group. But I have found where one of the indoor pools are and I love it! It's really not too expensive either. A month's membership (good for both the pool and fitness area run by the city) is less the $50. The price goes down (10-30%) if you buy 3, 6, 9 or 12 month memberships. So I think I'll be investing in one of those. It would be nice to be back to my "normal" weight/build again. And without the depression and meds...I'm pretty sure I can do it. :)

Work is going well still. I have about 2 months left at the current house I'm at, then I'll move to the 4th and final house the company runs. After that...back to the begining I guess.

It's been a nice relaxing happy birthday for me today.

:)

PS--I have to have a little rant here...

I ran across a list of famous people born on the 9th of October and looked up who was born on the 6th. I feel a bit...cheated. Lots and lots of famous folk born the entire first 15 days of October...with one exception. October 6th. Our short list incluedes: George Westinghouse, Carole Lombard and Elisabeth Shue. Ok, Ok..there were three more on the list at http://www.famousbirthdays.com/ Amy Jo Johnson (a pink power ranger), Britt Ekland, (a Bond girl), and Le Corbusier (an architect,designer,artist) That's it! I feel a bit cheated. Look at the list for the rest of October...so many very famous names. Although the 24th is another less represented day. :)

Generations

So a friend of mine has a blog post about generations. He gave the "traditional" generations list (one I, as a member of generation X, disagree with...there are way too many differences between someone born in 61 and someone born in 81!)

Lost Generation (1883–1900)
Greatest Generation (1901–1924)
Silent Generation (1925–1942)
Baby Boomer (1943–1960)
Generation X (1961–1981)
Millennial Generation (1982–2001)
Generation Z (2001–)

He went on to describe a new listing by another author for an iGeneration or internet generation. This generation is now 18-30, and can't remember a world without the internet.

Bob disagrees saying that the internet didn't take off until '98. As an ex-wife of an internet junkie who was hooked in '91, I'd tend to disagree. Granted, the internet looked much different then. It wasn't as slick looking, didn't have pictures, and tended to be more of a college project than something everyone was doing, but still it was there.

My sister would be at the early end of this generation. (she was born in '78 and is 31) and honestly, I know we've had the talk about this...she can't remember a time without internet. To her the beginings were college sponsored "chat rooms" and lists of articles written by professors, but it was there from the time she was aware of it. She can remember teachers in jr high (ok, ok...middle school--she was the first class who left elementary school in 5th grade in our hometown) discussing if access to this new thing should be allowed in her school. (I was in high school at the time, and we had access, but it was so limited at the time, I couldn't see the big deal.)

So yes, I'd agree with the iGen label. But honestly...I think we'll start seeing smaller and smaller generations, as the tech keeps increasing and the world keeps shrinking.

For example, the traditional model labels GenX as those born '61 to '81. I'm firmly in the middle of that ('71)! But the differences in attitute, thought process, between me and those ten years older or ten years younger!

Women 10 years older ('61 birth year) that I have met, interacted with, been mentored by....have a much more work focused attitude. They were the generation of women that went to work. Yes, they had families, but most went back to work after. They are very often career driven. Those 10 years younger (mostly raised by career women!) have a much more family oriented focus. Many are staying home with their kids, or looking for in home, personal care providers among family and friends as opposed to the Kindercare generation they belong to.

Those born in the middle of this 20 year span kind of fall in the middle. I think that is part of the problem historians are finding with everything after the baby boomers. Life started changing soooo fast. Generations (I think) now last closer to 7-10 years instead of 17-25. I often feel I have more in common with those 10-15 years older than myself than those 5 years younger. And those 10-15 years younger....I don't often get at all.

And I've had talks about this with those in the 5 year younger than me age range...They feel it far worse than I do. They don't really feel much in common with those 5-10 years older or 5-10 years younger.

About 15 years ago now, I stumbled on a list of things that that years high school gradution class didn't remember. As my sister was just finishing her first year of college, I asked her about some of the things on the list. It amazed me that I could remember these things (some very, very big things!) that she had no personal feelings about. Our birth years are only 7 years apart after all. (6 1/2 if you're counting months, as I was a fall baby and she was born in winter!)

They included:

The USSR (both as a nation and as the "Evil Empire" of the Regan era)
Ronald Reagan (as a current, sitting President)
Having only 4-6 channals on T.V. ( I grew up in Chicago without cable--ABC, NBC, CBS, WGN, PBS and sometime in my youth...Fox arrived)
Your family owning at least one black and white TV.
Fear of nuclear war
Mr. Hooper on Seasame Street
Mr. Green Jeans on Captain Kangaroo
Not owning or using a computer regularly

So yeah...I think she is part of the iGen....and I...am not.

Border Agents

So I was in the US again very briefly this afternoon.

I picked up some of my furniture in Minot, after finding someone able to bring it that far. And so I had yet another round of interesting experiences with the border services agents on both sides of the border.

I must admit....with the exception of getting my work permit (and I think that was just a fluke--one bad apple) Canadian Border Services (both Immigration and Customs) have been much better and easier than their US counterparts.

Today was a great example. When I arrived at the US border, I gave the agent my passport (still an American one, I should mention), explained my reason for crossing, was asked all the standard questions about alcohol, tobacco, firearms/weapons, fruits, vegetables, meat products, visits to farms....etc. And then was asked for my Canadian documents stating I could bring goods into Canada, my rental paperwork on the U-Haul, my driver's licence and insurance. I was then told to park the van and come inside.

I was escorted into the office, made to give up my purse, had my purse searched, had to empty out my pockets, had the empty (except for a coffee cup, tee shirt, hoodie and wrist braces) van searched and had to explain why I was getting my things, why I wanted to live in Canada (all the while having this kind of snotty look being given to me like "You are a traitor for not wanting to stay in the US). Finally I was allowed to go sit in a waiting room. It was only for about 15 minutes, but I'd already been there about 15-20 minutes, so it took about 30-40 minutes to cross the border. :(

When returning to Canada about 3 hrs later (the drive from the border to Minot is about 1 hr each way and it took about 40 minutes to transfer stuff, use the bathroom and grab a quick bite to eat) I was first stopped by....US BORDER PATROL!!!!!

Thank God one of the agents that stopped me had been one of the agents that I spoke with before, or I may have had to go inside again. They still looked thru the van, asked more questions about my stay in the US and who I had met. Then I went to the Canadian Border Patrol.

Wow! What a difference. Greeted in two languages (Hello/ Bonjour), Gave my passport and customs documents. Asked which items I was bringing this time. He highlighted the items, stamped the form, looked ever so briefly at my work permit, told me to have a good day, and drive safely. Handed my paperwork back and I was on my way in about 3 minutes flat. I never left the van, the van was not searched. (or if it was...it was done so quickly and quietly I never noticed. There was a dog walking past the vehicles in the back, so maybe the handler took a quick peek while he was walking past.)

So to the US Border patrol....I know you are only doing your job. But really, how scary do I look? I mean...I was wearing an Eeyore sweatshirt, jeans and had my hair in a pony tail. I have a US passport and was born in the US. You have to go back to my great grandparents generation to have any foreign born citizens...and they're from Hungary. Before that...well, lets just say at least one branch goes back to early colonial times. (and oddly enough....one branch of that family went to Canada during the Revolution) The other parts...probably go back quite a ways, but no one's ever bothered to look. I grew up Baptist and am now Catholic. I'm so pale, I burn in about 10 minutes flat on a sunny day. The chances of me being a problem for either country? About a million to one. And they must know that...I've crossed the border enough I'm sure I'm in their system. :( But all three times I've made this crossing since getting my work permit...I've gotten that same kind of attitude and hassle.

And all three times...Canada has welcomed me home with open arms, trust, speed and efficiency.

Of course...it maybe a difference in how Canada feels about the world and the world feels about Canada. I was listening to a CBC (Canadian Broadcasting Company) radio show called LOL (Laugh Out Loud) on my way home. And the comedian made the comment...that when foreigners say mean things to Canadians...Canadians tend to respond with "Oh, yeah, well, OK eh?" and go on. Which got me thinking...about culture, climate, and how people interact. More on this another time. :)

I'm happy I'm sick

Yeah, not something I'm normally happy about, but today....

I've been kind of dreading today. Dreading how today would make me feel. You see...today would have been (had I not chosen to end it) the 15th anniversary of my marriage. And I worried...would the day make me feel sad? Angry? What? Would I be able to handle those feelings?

But instead, today...I've been sick. And as I worked the overnight shift last night and am working it again today....I mercifully slept my way thru the day. :)

And once I'm at work...I'll be immersed in that and won't think about the day at all.

So today at least....I'm happy that I'm sick. :)

Some good things from my trip

So I promised I'd write a bit about some of the good things from my trip to MN. And there were several.

I went to a Twins game, one of the last 20 in the dome. The Twins won against the Rangers. It was a nice relaxing evening with mom and dad. We had a bit of time before the game and had driven around Minneapolis a bit so I got to see some places that brought back some memories. Most were good ones. As a general rule Curt and I didn't go into Minneapolis together much, just for kind of special occasions. So the memories were mostly good. We did drive past Curt's attorney's office (a place I spent a bit of time as well) and that was hard. But other than that....it was nice.

And since we finished early on Saturday....We went to the State Fair. Mom and dad had never been, so I got to be the one to introduce them to the great MN get-together. :) It was really nice. We pretty much ate our way thru the fair, sampling everything from our favorite pronto pups to grilled shrimp to creme puffs and frozen apple cider. I don't think we had a bad thing that day. And....as a first....I walked away from the fair without having either spent a lot of money on stuff for Curt or feeling guilty about buying something for myself. :) It was nice. Really nice.

It also dawned on me...for the year 1/2 that I stayed with Curt after his incarceration, I felt like I couldn't do fun things. Like concerts or the fair. Because it wasn't fair that Curt couldn't go with me. But it dawned on me this trip. Curt deserves to miss those things for a while. He deserves to be where he is. His actions put him there. Not mine, not a failing of me that caused his actions. It was all him. And I think that maybe the best of the revelations I had this trip.

All I Ever Needed to Know I Learned From Dr. Suess

"Be who you are and say what you feel....because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't mind." -- Dr. Seuss



A blog I read had this quote in it a few days ago. And I started thinking of all the wisdom in the Dr. Seuss books.



Green Eggs and Ham teaches us to try new things.



And to think that I saw it on Mulberry Street teaches us not to lie.



Yertle the Turtle teaches us to be happy with ourselves, no matter our station in life. And that the "Little People" do make a difference.



The Grinch and the Whos teach us the really meaning of the holiday season.



The Lorax teaches us the importance of taking care of our environment.



It's all there....love, happiness, respect, getting along with others, the importance of education and our beliefs, how to take care of others when they are old, sick, young, or in need.



I wonder if Theodore Geisel (Dr. Seuss's real name) was trying to teach the kids he wrote for about life's lessons or if that was just a good side effect. He started writing for the baby boomers of the 50's and was still going strong when I was a kid in the 70's. I doubt many of my generation can quote the Bible, but I'm willing to bet we all know and can quote a large part of our favorite Seussian book. I'm sure most of us don't know Amazing Grace, but I am pretty sure we can all sing along to "You're a mean one...Mr. Grinch."

So here's my take on the famous "All I needed to know I learned in Kindergarten"

All I Needed to Know about Life I Learned from Dr. Seuss

All I really need to know about how to live and what to do and how to be I learned from reading Dr. Seuss.

These are the things I learned:

Everyone is important. (Yertle the Turtle)

Don't Lie (And to think that I Saw it on Mulberry Street)

Clean up after yourself (The Lorax)

Be Yourself (The Sneeches)

It's Ok to be Silly (There's a Wocket in my Pocket, Wacky Wednesday, et al)

Colors, Numbers, Letters, Learning is important (One fish, two fish/The ABC Book/Oh the Thinks you can Think)

Holidays are about people and love, not toys and food (How the Grinch stole Christmas)

Appreciate your parents (Hop on Pop)

Imagination is fun! (pick your favorite--it's in them all!)

The future is yours to make of it what you will. (Oh the places you'll go!)

Never give up. (The 500 Hats of Bartholomew Cubbins)

There are so many lessons Dr. Seuss gave us. It's all there. The wisdom of the ages, boiled down and distilled into the fun and silly world that is Dr. Seuss. None of it is so hard that a 6 year old can't get it, but the lessons are such that adults still struggle to follow them when they're 60. The world would be a better place if we all were a little more like Seuss's heroes.

Ok...so I'm not Robert Fulghum. But I know there are several of these lessons I'm still working on 30 years after I first learned them from Dr. Seuss. And if anyone asks...I may even share which ones. ;)

My trip back to MN

So I went back to spend a few days with my parents, go thru boxes and boxes of stuff, and make a million decisions about what to take, what to throw away and what to give to my now official ex-husband.



Yes, it is official. We are divorced. And it feels a bit....anti-climatic. After all was said and done, he signed the papers without the judge forcing it. But it took quite some time for him to do so, and cost me quite a bit extra in attorney fees.



My mom asked how I felt about it. Was I sad? Angry? Happy?



Yes. Yes. Yes. And anxious, frustrated, excited and relieved. I guess maybe relieved is the overriding feeling. It's over. I no longer need to wonder about how he will react to anything and everything I do. I never again need to fear his moods, wonder if this will be the time he will do to me what I watched him do to our dogs.



And that is just it. Because he was never physically abusive, no one (including, maybe even especially, my mom) gets how much I lived in fear and anxiety. I saw the look in his eye when one of our dogs would make a mess in the house or bark in the night or whatever. I saw the way he lost control and would strike them. And I always wondered if he would do that to me.



I can remember him saying once when we were dating that if someone he really loved were to leave him without "just cause" he would feel justified to do whatever it took to get them back. When I asked him what he meant he tried to make a joke of it saying "If you love someone let them go...if they come back they are yours. If not...hunt them down and shoot them!" And then wouldn't really talk about it. And as the years went on....I wondered if that wasn't a little closer to the truth than I cared to think about.



Curt has been transfered to another facility, this one offering treatment, so if he gets into the program soon, he could be finished in as little as 18 months. As he is considered a minimum security level inmate, he could qualify for work release by then too. It kind of scares me that he could be out in the community so soon. I don't think he fully gets just how messed up he still is. :(



And strangely, Mom almost blamed me for Curt's failings this trip. It really hurt. She just said it in passing. We were discussing how most of the things we owned belonged to Curt, how most of the most expensive things we owned were his and she said "Well YOU were there. YOU could have stopped him. Aliesha (my sister) stops her husband Brandon from buying toys. YOU could have too."

And for a minute I thought...Yes, it was my fault. Curt is/was broken and I should have tried harder to fix him. Then reality set in and I replied "Mom, if I had been able to control Curt, don't you think I would have? And can you really see me controlling him ever, over anything? I really wouldn't be me if I had that kind of power over another person would I?"

And mom had no answer for that. So we worked in blessed silence for a bit. Then mom asked if I had ever tried to tell Curt "no" about anything. "Yes" I replied. "I told him no frequently....but he'd find a way aroud my no to make it a yes. And I'd be the bad guy and not be spoken to or be ignored or have lies told about me until he got his way. "

I don't think she fully believes me. She mentioned her parents and how her dad treated her mom. And I realized...for the first time....I'd married my grandfather. The temper, the mood swings, the making me feel crazy because he'd be so nice to other people. But mom didn't see that.

There were fun, good things from last week....and I promise a post with some of the fun stuff next. :)

Home Again...

Home again, Home again.... as the children's rhyme goes. Although I didn't go to the market or buy a fat pig or hog. ;)

But I did go to the MN State fair with my parents and pretty much ate our way thru it.

I'll update more another time, when I'm more awake and ready to reflect on the last 5 stressful days. :(

Back in MN!

So finally....after a 14 hour drive (with way too much construction!) I made it to Buffalo! Minnesota, that is. ;)

Here until Sunday, then back on the road and back to Canada. I'm glad to be here, but will be even happier to head home on Sunday. :)

It feels nice to say that.

Homecoming.

So I'm going back to MN for about a week in about a week. And was asked at work as I was describing my trip "When are you coming home?" And I answered (without really thinking about it) Sunday, August 30. And realized after...that this is now "Home".

It all got me thinking...What is Home?

In college I made a sign that I put above the place I hung my hat/scarf etc "Home is where I hang my hat" And for the 4 years I was in college this was very true. Home changed so frequently then, different dorms, different rooms in the same dorm, back to my parents or grandmas homes. All were some version of home to me.

Before college...well, I guess Mamma's house was home. It was the one place I was always accepted for who I was, what I did was valued, and who I could become was celebrated. I always felt special, cared for and loved. It was home.

And I think I've been searching for it ever since.

I finally have found it.

:)

The move

The move is...almost over! We have the boxes and furniture in the house, now it's just getting it all unpacked and in it's new home. The kitchen is done, the living room started, the bedroom and office areas started. I had to go back to work for a couple of days and came home too tired to think about doing anymore. But now I have 3 days off so I plan to use them to finish up and get boxes out of our living areas!

The move was a good one, but I've been moving soo much recently that it just kind of hurts. I think back to all the other moves, all the reasons for those moves, all the frustrations my life has brought. Add to those feelings the stress of moving and....I broke down completely at one point. Just cried and cried and couldn't stop. I hate doing that. I was thankful that Pat wasn't around to see me. I didn't want to explain why I was crying over all these past experiences that are done and over, but still just haunt me. I'm sure he'd have understood, but sometimes I worry that my past will hurt my present or future. :(

The healthcare debate as seen from across the border

So I have an odd view to the health care debate raging in the US right now. I've been covered under Canada's health system for about 3 months now and have been asked about the US systems and what the debate is all about for most of that time. The last few weeks have been especially bad.

Of course it doesn't help that we get CNN, all the major affiliates news shows and such here. And they are all quoting various congresspeople who are saying how terrible the socialist Canadian system is. And since I'm American....I must agree right? So I'm asked at least once daily what my opinion of Canada's health system is, told about their experience both here and abroad, and asked about my own experience with private health insurance, medicare and medicaid.

Well, so far...my experience of Canada's health care is...limited. But I'm rather impressed. I'm living in a smaller community (about 300,000 in the "metro" area and about 750,000 province-wide. ) So clearly there are not nearly as many people in the system as say Toronto or Ottawa. But still....there are quite a few doctors. My primary care doctor can see me usually the same day or if not the for sure the next if I actually need him. If I don't feel like waiting for him for the next day, I can go to one of many walk-in clinics in the city. If I want a second opinion, I can go and get one. True, if it is a small speciality (gynaecologic oncology comes to mind) we only have 2 doctors in the metro area and 3 province wide practicing. But then again, that same speciality in South Dakota (similar area/finances and populations) have the about the same number of doctors. So if you need to wait, or go to a larger city/area for that second opinion....you would in some of the states as well.

I don't think most US citizen realize that most Canadians DO have private health insurance in addition to the government coverage. It pays for medication, holistic practices, dental, vision, massage, a private room at the hospital, and even money for you if you are in hospital (not a huge sum, but $50-100/day is better than nothing!) And because most "normal" medical expenses are paid by the government, this supplemental coverage is not expensive at all. :) Some employers pay for all of it, some pay for a large percentage, and even if the employer doesn't pay for any of it, it's less than $100 a month even for family coverage. So yes, in addition to my government health card, I have private insurance here in Canada. It also becomes my main coverage when I come back to the US.

And I'm doing that next month. It looks like I'll be in town the last full week of August. I'll be picking up most of my things this trip and driving in a 16 ft cube van. Should be fun. :)

News from the North

So here we are, just a week and a few days from our move. Actually we're looking at moving the date back a day or two so we may ask for the keys and take possession on July 27. Which would be nice as that starts a week off work for me. :) And it's really odd. By taking 2 days off, I get a week. It has to do with my schedule and that that is my short week. I work Sunday night, then have Mon/Tues as normal days off. I took Wednesday/Thursday off and would normally have Fri/Sat/Sunday. So two days off = 1 week. :)

Yesterday we went to the Riders game. Now you have to understand something. CFL (Canadian Football League) up here is almost as popular and well attended in most cities as hockey. But in Saskatchewan....it's something of a legend. Green Bay fans would be considered almost tame in comparison. And Sane. Their colors are green, white and black and for some odd reason....watermelons play into what people wear. Yes, some crazy fans carve watermelon helmets to wear to the games. The game yesterday was a sell out. 31,000 people. (OK, it wasn't that round a number but it was the part that caught my attention.) Looking at the stands, I'd say 90-95% in green or white. The noise could get pretty loud sometimes. But it was fun. We actually got season tickets so this was the 2nd home game. And the Riders lost.

Oddly, the full name of the team is the SK Rough Riders. And I had to wonder....why Rough Riders? The only thing I knew of Rough Riders were Teddy Roosevelt and his Riders charging San Juan hill. But this is Canada....why call a team that? So I looked up the team history. Come to find out, the club started as a rugby club in the late 1800s. And was started by men...returning from going abroad serving with TR in Cuba. Amazing.

But then again...maybe not so much. I'm find that the US is truly a very....isolationist country. Unless you are a 1st or 2nd generation immigrant, chances are slim that you know anyone living abroad (except maybe for a missionary or two). But just people living in other countries? When they are US citizens? Just doesn't happen much. But here! I'm amazed at how many people talk about friends or family who are living in the US or Australia or England or.....wherever. And most of our college student part timers plan on doing at least a semester abroad. And I'm still surprised at how many people here have friends/family in MN. I've met people with an Aunt in St. Louis Park, cousins in Chaska, and a brother in White Bear Lake. Even someone who lived in Plymouth for a while. Hey....so did I. Where about? Wow that's spooky we lived in apartment buildings on the same street. Of course that street was lined with apartments and probably has 5,000 people living on it, but still....these connections make it feel like a very small world.

The farmers market here....is off to a slow, slow start. But then again...we had the last hard frost only a month and a half ago. (June 5) So I guess it will be a few more weeks before we really start seeing much fresh produce in the market. Right now, we have a lot of baked goods, a woman who makes wonderful (and unusual) jams/jellies. (so far I've tried her chokecherry jelly, blueberry jam and Saskatoon berry jam.) All of them....are delicious! And preservative free. Most have 3 ingredients. Fruit (or fruit juice), sugar, and pectin. Simple and tasty. One lady specializes in dog treats. Needless to say....I have a puppy who likes it when I go. And several people there sell honey. I doubt I'll buy honey in a store again. Theirs is much cheaper and again...preservative free. :)

Speaking of food....I've found I can eat margarine here without having the arthritis flare up. As well as eat Popsicles and eat out. What I've found is....Corn is not King here! Corn based products/oil is just not used. Probably because so little corn is grown. What is grown here in field after field is.....Canola. And soybeans. And sugar beats. :) So what kinds of oil is used in cooking and making margarine? Canola and Soya oils. And what sweetener is used? Sugar! Why would anyone allow corn syrup in anything? is the reaction I get when I explain why I look on labels to see if corn syrup is in something. It just doesn't happen much. There are some exceptions (like syrup...but the main ingredient is still regular sugar instead of corn syrup!) One of the odd things is....Sugar is called glucose on labels and corn syrup is fructose-glucose. So I have to look at labels twice. So it's nice. My arthritis is only effected by weather, and since we get only a few days a month of rain....ah...the hands feel normal. Better than normal. I am almost completely pain free. It's wonderful.

OK...last thing on this post Canola is a very recent word (dates from the 1970s) but the plant has been around a lot longer. The old traditional name for it was Rapeseed. But market people didn't think that would sell, so they came up with the name Canola (Can=Canada, ola=oil) At my work, we have a cookbook that tells stories of various places in SK. And oddly enough, one of the stories is about a community whose post master wanted to make a stamp cancellation stamp of a motto he thought up for the town. Their two big products? Rapeseed and honey. So he wanted to make that the town slogan--the land of rapeseed and honey. The Postal Service said no, but the town loved it and made a huge sign of this slogan at the edge of town. A few years later the town started having problems with an insect infestation that can destroy crops. The bugs are Bertha worms and everyone in town was told how to spot, kill and report the bugs so the crops wouldn't be lost. They had Bertha control lectures, lessons in school, everything they could think of. Soon after the author was visiting this town and saw they had changed their sign to read "Land of Rapeseed and Bertha Control"

WHY?

This is the beginning of a rant. I'll admit it. I'm not having a good day and I need to vent a bit. So if you are not up to hearing a bit of a rant/vent....move right along. ;)



Still here? OK, don't say I didn't warn you.


WHY?

Why is it I am still enduring painful periods when I can't have kids? I am so frustrated at this. I'm old enough that going back on the pill isn't really healthy for me, but without it, I have to endure pain and heavy periods. There are times I just want my periods to end forever. There is no point to them, other than to remind me each month of what I can't have. Maybe because I'm also sick this month it's just worse, but I'm just about sick of having this happen each month. There is a part of me that just wants to walk into my Dr. office (ok, ok...I guess I need to find a gynaecologist here in Canada first) and say....what can we do to end this for me. I don't care if it's temporary or permanent, I just want it to end! I know there are some other options out there for birth control (not that I need that--being infertile kind of solves that on it's own.) But would any of the other options help the way the pill did? :( I guess it's time for me to find a OB/GYN and find out. OK....another part to this rant...why do they call them OB/GYN? Most of our lives as woman we just use the GYN part. The OB part is for most women....let me see 2-3 kids on average...9 months of pregnancy....18-27 months out of 60 years of our adult female lives? Yet we put the OB part first.

OK...sorry for that. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Packing...again!

So we have about....2 weeks (YIKES!) to pack. Not that there is a ton of stuff. Which is good. We've hired a company to actually move things, but we're packing the boxes ourselves. We've got a small start, but it's not much. But we don't have long. :) I'm excited to be in a house again. Apartment living is ok, but I miss having a yard. And I miss my puppy. And I miss looking out a window while in the kitchen. (Why do apartments never have windows in their kitchens? The one in MN came close....it was in the attached dinning nook, but you had to kind of look sideways to see it. But the house has a window over the sink, just where I like to have one. :) I may try to get some pictures of it a bit later this month and post a few.

Oddly...Pat hasn't seen the place inside yet. We've made this huge decision based entirely on me. It feels really weird. I mean, I'm glad he trusts me, but I feel a bit....nervous? What if he hates the place? What if my description wasn't good? What if....I don't know...he's upset about it? So I'm a bit nervous. But hopefully it will all work out well.

I don't ususally do this...

but I'll make an exception as I have experienced first hand airlines inability to keep instraments safe in their cargo handling. (my French horn bell looked more like a V than an O when it arrived in Florida on a school trip. And it was packed in it's case with extra towels around it, with duck tape on the latches, and in a box that was taped shut! None of which made it all the way to Florida. It arrived without the box, duck tape or extra material that should have been protecting it. But at least the airline paid for it. :) But then again, the bad press of hurting a young teen would probably have helped my school in bargining.)

This song is really cute.

United breaks guitars
http://www.nbcchicago.com/news/local/United-Breaks-Guitars-a-Smash-Hit-on-YouTube.html?corder=&pg=2#comments

The new house!

Ah, yes...not quite home ownership....but at least we won't be hearing the neighbors every move! :) We signed the lease today, pick up keys in 3 weeks and move in. It's in a nice neighbourhood (mixed area, townhouses and houses--near the university). It's rather large (4 bedrooms, 2.5 baths) and has a fenced in yard for the puppy! :) So I'll again be a full time dog owner! I'm sooooo excited! The extra rooms will be good to allow for Pat's kids to visit as they've not felt so comfortable doing that with me here in the small apartment. :( So this is a good thing for us.

And then there is the new house at work too! Another really nice thing. :) More staff there, so I'm getting to know a few more people as well as being able to feel more at home with procedures and everything else. :) So I'm glad that is going well. I should be able to have some time off to move too. And I'll be trying for a trip back to the states to pick up my things, see friends and family and tie up a few more loose ends.

Oh, and the Dr. visit today. My kidneys are fine. So the doctor says "I didn't see any varicose veins in your lower legs...but I didn't look above your knee when I was doing your physical. Do you have any varicose veins on the upper legs? And did your mother or grandmother have varicose veins?"

Well Dr. K, the answer to both is a resounding "YES!" I've had varicose veins in my thighs since I was a teenager. And both my mother and both grandmother have had them too. My maternal grandma's legs looked like a spider web. So the answer to why my lower legs seem to swell up frequently is that because of the very small size and proximity to the surface of my veins....they don't have enough pressure to push both blood and fluid back into my trunk. So the fluid stays in my legs until I put my feet up or lay down at night. :( OK Doc, now what? Well...I'm getting some compression hose. Not just the kind you buy at Wal-mart, but honest to goodness, go to a specialist and get them made for you hose. We'll re-evaluate in 3-6 months and see how that goes. If it isn't helping we'll either try for tighter hose or a combination of hose and water pills to pull the water out. So here's hoping the lightweight hose do the trick. Interestingly enough...one of the other odd things that can happen with this problem is that your legs may itch (varicose dermatitis) especially after walking, running or excercize. When Dr. K mentioned that could happen in the future, I had to say...uh, well, it's happened for about 20 years now. But since it's always happened...I just assumed it was the way my body was built. The look on Dr. K's face was one of amazement. He then launched into a mini lecture on really thinking of anything and everything that has been "unusual" in comparison to friends, co-workers or strangers. And if it is unusual and bothers me in the least...I'm to tell him about it.

It was funny...he also made sure to ask how I was adjusting to life in a new country, if I was starting to make any friends, and if I had joined any groups yet. It was nice to be asked about that part of my health too. And I am adjusting well, have started making some friends and have joined a church. So he was happy about that.

I was just about to leave when he noticed I had a bandaid on the back of my right hand. Last week a consumer who was upset about a parent leaving grabbed my hand and squeezed it. It wouldn't have been bad, but his nails were a bit long and one of them broke the skin. Again, not a huge problem, but while working I have my hands in water (either cleaning, washing my hands, doing dishes or assisting with personal care) probably about 20-30 times a day. Needless to say...not the best way to get a puncture wound to heal. :( Dr. K wanted to take a look, cleaned it out and put on a new band-aid. And told me about Canada's answer to OSHA. It's called WCB here (worker's compensation board) and every injury (no mater how slight) is supposed to be reported to them. Somehow...I doubt my company does this. :( But Dr. K suggested I do it myself and gave me their number for future injuries. (hopefully---they will be rare!)

Wow...that was a long post. Guess today has been an exciting day!

What a weekend!

My parents came to visit this past weekend. It was a long couple of days. We were all trying very hard to be nice, but there was a tension there. I know it was partly my fault, but at the same time, I just wish my parents understood how hard it is for me when they treat me as if I were still a young child. They still think if they are wearing a jacket, I should wear one too. And if I tell them I don't want one, they continue to press the issue until either I agree or we are all but yelling at each other. :( It's hard.

And this happens a lot, not just about jackets, but about eating, drinking, going to the bathroom. I even tried to say how much it hurts when they treat me like this, but mom especially just waves it off with " you will always be my little girl". But I'm not a little girl. I'm a grown woman, old enough to have children (even grown ones!--a high school classmate has a 20 year old!) of my own.

I think that is part of the problem. Because I can't have children, in my mom's eyes, I've never grown up. I think having me was the goad that made her grow up and so she feels you have to have a child to be an adult. But I am not going to have a child, so I'm feeling a bit stuck. :(

On the positive side, we did a lot a sightseeing this weekend. Lots of things I've seen a bit of and even more that I'd never seen. It's funny how having out of town company can make you go to place you've meant to go, but not gotten around to. :) So there were some positive things this weekend. It also looks like Pat and I will be getting a house to rent at the end of the month. So I'll have to start packing yet again. But hopefully this will be the last time for a year or two, at least! :)

My next house assignment

Tomorrow, I'll be starting a two-three month rotation in the Respite house. Respite is an interesting place. It's a kind of a cross between a youth hostel and a nursing home. Most rooms have normal beds, but some have hospital type beds. All have a dresser and lamp. Some are double occupancy for friends or family to be together. All consumers have some type of physical or intellectual disability. They stay for a few hours to a few weeks. The age range is 6 yrs to 86 years. And there can be up to 8 overnight plus 8 hourly consumers in the house at a time. Staffing is different too. For any time there is a consumer in a wheelchair or 4 or more consumers, there is at least one other staff member. :) As July/August are two of the busiest months of the year....there should always be a couple of us there. :) I'm looking forward to it.

Updates on life

So I'd kind of forgotten what life on the prairie was like. Or at least the weather. :) This week was a reminder. HOT!!! With fast moving p.m. storms. Yep, really reminds me of South Dakota weather patterns. Which after 9 years in MN, I'd forgotten. Although...hearing the weather person say it's going to be a hot day...29 degrees, just sounds odd. 29? Shouldn't I be wearing a parka and gloves? No? A swimsuit and wraparound skirt? Oh, yeah Celsius. ;) But I've come up with an easier way of figuring C to F conversion then 9/5C + 32. I round to the nearest 5, (IE that 29 degree day becomes 30) and figure out how many 5s are in that number. So for our example that would be 6. Multiply by 10, and add 30. (Yes, I know it's off a few degrees. But I can do that in my head quickly and know how to dress in the morning!) In the example...I get a 90 degree day by my method. The real method gives 84.2. So yes, I'm 6 degrees off, but at least I have an inkling of what the day will bring. And that day ended up being 32 degrees which was 89...so I was really close. I've discovered something odd about weather forecasting up here....it seems to be more....accurate? Or maybe it's more pessimistic. I've not seen a "partly sunny" day. But lots of partly cloudy ones. And temperatures seem to be guessed at lower than higher, so you maybe pleasantly surprised when it's warmer, but not disappointed when it's cooler.

The bad part to the warm weather of the week is the apartment isn't air conditioned. Not even a window unit. So it's been a bit...hot here.

Update on medical stuff....I had the ultrasound of my kidneys done on Thursday. Wow! Fast appointment. I got there, presented my card, sat down and opened a magazine....and was called. 10 minutes early. Taken back by the man who was doing the test and got started right away. Hmmm...he did the right kidney first, then the left and while doing the left he says "Are you in pain? Am I hurting you?" Ummm...no. Should it be? I hate comments like that. I know I have a freakishly high pain threshold. When I hurt (not just ache like the arthritis does or my cramps do--oh wait--most people consider that pain), I know I'm in serious trouble. As in..Excuse me, but someone needs to take me to a medical professional right now! But no more cryptic comments, the results will be in Dr. K's office midweek, but he doesn't have an appointment available until July 8th. So that's when I'll hear something...although I am assuming that if something is really wrong....he'll probably call earlier. I've been told he does that.

Some other odd things I've noticed about life here on the great Canadian prairie. People are super polite. Not just MN nice, but actually polite. Please, thank you, ma'am, sir, excuse me are still heard here. It's nice, but odd. I tend to use those anyway and stuck out a bit in the states, but here I just fit in.

There are fewer types of some products and more of others on the shelves at the stores. Example: Much fewer types of pop. No flavored Coke/Pepsi, only one type of Dr. Pepper, fewer choices overall. But wow the flavors of potato chips! Dill pickle, ketchup, sour cream and cheddar cheese, and all the ones typically found in Cub foods back in MN.

Still adjusting to all packaging being in both English and French! And remembering more of my French each day. Not that I use it, but seeing it, reading it, and hearing it on TV (there are entire channels that only broadcast in French here--and some shows are voice over from the English...which is kind of fun to watch. :)

Health care still feels weird to me. Here I am having tests, going to the Dr....with no co-pay and no charge. Although strangely I found out that if there were a charge it would be fairly low. While I was at a walk in clinic with a consumer, a foreign exchange student who had not applied for a health card came in and asked how much it would cost to see a doctor without a health card. And the answer is? $100? $75? How about $45? Yep...that's all folks. He then says...I think I may have strep...what about a test for that? The receptionist replies...if we do it in office, it's included in the $45. I almost fainted. I know that's about the charge for a nurse practitioner run, in drug store kind of clinic in MN. But to see a Dr? In a full clinic setting? I asked at Dr. K's office, just to see if the charge was more...and the nurse there said Dr. K really doesn't accept patients without a card unless it's a family member visiting, then he charges $55, again including any tests he can do in office (not much...no blood work, x-rays, etc--but strep tests--yep can do that)

Another odd thing...Lottery. In the US, states that have lotteries do so to either increase their general operating budget or for a specific purpose (IE--education). And the lotteries here in Canada do that too, but there are also special lotteries for specific purposes. For example, the libraries do a special lottery each year where the grand prize is a 1/2 million dollar house. There are a limited number of tickets for these lotteries and a limited number of prizes (For that one there were....I think....10,000 tickets--each ticket costing $100 or a book of 5 for $250. ) And yes, there were corporate sponsors for the prizes, so the library wasn't paying retail for the prizes. But still, it's odd to hear and see in action. And a good number of these lotteries are for health care. Help the NICU buy new monitors by buying a lottery ticket. Or the cancer ward get new books and games for the chemo area. Oddly...schools don't do this. I asked about it and was told schools get funded first. So they don't need money. Wow! Amazing. Teacher salaries here are really pretty good too. (low end about $7,000-10,00/yr more than stateside.)

Well, there are a few more of the odd things I've been noticing. :) See you next time I start thinking of the odd strange things that are different here in the not so frozen right now North!

Ah...two days off!

I must admit it. I'm learning to really love my schedule. :) I've been off for 24 hrs and will be off for another 48. Then I work 24 of 48 hrs and then I'm off again for 84 hrs before I go back for another 24 of 48.



Some days do go really slow. But that is due to the current house/consumer I'm working with. Which will be changing at the end of the month. I'm moving from the Crisis house to the Respite house. The Respite house is there to give regular, full time caregivers someplace they can take their charges to for anywhere from 4 hrs to 7 days. I'll be there for July and August (the two busiest months). I'm looking forward to it. Not only will there probably be at least 4 consumers each night, but that means there will be at least two staff on at all times too. :) So I'm looking forward to getting to know more people, seeing lots of new consumers and over all just having a great time. :)



So I'm getting the ultra sound done this week. On Thursday afternoon. I have mixed feelings about this. I really, really hate doctors, lab work, and medical stuff in general. But at the same time, I've thought for a lot of years that this is just not right. So off I go to get an ultrasound of my kidneys to see if there is a problem there. After that, it's a few days to wait for the results and another visit to Dr. K.

Updates on appointments and the like....

So, it's been a few weeks now I guess. And the Dr. appointment has come and gone. Mostly good news. All lab work came back normal. And in some cases, better than normal. Good cholesterol is high. Bad cholesterol is lower than normal. :) Blood glucose levels are normal, no other problems with the tests. So the physical exam was good too. No obvious problems, no clear cause for my leg swelling. :( So on to the next thing. Which is an ultrasound of my kidneys. All the lab work seemed to show decent kidney function, but that is the next big thing that could be causing the problems in my legs and Dr. K wants to check it out.

Car is fixed, running well and should be licensed in Canada in the next week or so. :)

Work has been going well. Hard to believe I've been there 2 months already. Time is really flying! As a matter of fact....I need to go get ready for work. I'm off for two days after today, so I'll try to maybe write more then.

Upcoming appointments updated

So the appointments that I listed before are over. And a new round are just begining. :(

The car appointment led to the finding of a major problem. The left front axel was almost broken. Which in turn lead to the left front bearing being worn down. (which this car has already had replaced twice in the last 3 years that I know of) So the estimate the dealership gave me was...scary! But a local shop that Pat takes his van to gave me one that was 50% lower than the dealer. :) So back to the shop my car goes on Thursday. Hopefully this time will be a bit better.

The doctor appointment was....good and nerve-racking. I liked the Doctor. He seems very concerned about any issues you have, listens well, asks questions when he needs more information and is willing to let you take your time and explain anything you want to talk about. But, in the course of the discussion, I mentioned that I've had my lower legs swelling (filling with fluid) for several years now. Some days are worse than others, but it's always there to some extent. My last doctor just kind of assumed it was my weight and left it alone. The doctor here...told me in some detail just what could be causing it. :( Anything from my weight....to congestive heart failure. So I'm going in for blood work (it's a walk in lab--just go in anytime from now til two days before my next appointment. And a chest x-ray. I have to make an appointment for that, but again, can do it as I want. Then back to the doctor for an actual physical and to get results from the test. It was kind of scary and kind of refreshing to hear that the small concerns I had weren't being just attributed to weight and age, but being seriously thought about and followed up on.

Sunday Morning Mass

I went to Mass at my new church last Sunday morning. I really do feel so at home there. Even more so than I ever felt in MN. And I liked my church in MN. But there is a....flavour (to use the Canadian spelling ;) ) to this Catholic church which is unlike anything I've seen. In part I think it's almost a Evangelical/Pentecostal feel. I had some really odd thoughts at Mass on Sunday.



The first one was....How is a Catholic Mass like a musical?



Well...People move in unison (Stand/Sit/Kneel) and process around the church with little to no direction (kind of like a slow dance bit), and burst into song without warning. :) Where else but a musical (or the Mass) does this happen?

The second odd thought I had was my church is even more multicultural than my church in MN. Which is a bit odd as my church in MN wasn't exactly all white. But here...we have a couple of families from Africa, a few from the Phillipeans, some from Europe, and now...me from the States. Which is fun...as people will look at me for a few minutes then say "You're not from around here, eh?" And I'm not. I still say "Amen" with a long A, instead of Ahmen. ;)

Upcoming appointments

And WOW!!!! There are a lot!

I have a work meeting next week. I'll get to meet all the house supervisors hired so far (eventually there are supposed to be 16 of us--4 at each house X 4 houses and about 10-12 people able to do on-call as needed so we can have vacations/sick days etc.) And all these people have been invited to the meeting. But at the moment we only have 12 full timers hired and 6 on-call folks.

Later in the week, I take my car in to have additional child safety seat anchors put in as well as daytime running lamps. The child safety seat anchors are free! The daytime running lamps are $250. But then I can have my car inspected and licensed here in Canada. So that will mean one more thing off my long to do list. :)

Pat is going out of town to visit a friend he hasn't seen in about 10 years. They've tried to get together a few times, and life always got in the way....but his friend was diagnosed with cancer this past year and although he is in remission and should be fine, the overdue visit was bumped to must do NOW priority. So I'm helping out by opening the storage area for one of Pat's employees on Friday and again Saturday to get equipment for a gig.

Then finally to round out my month, I'm going to the doctor. No, nothing is specifically wrong that hasn't bothered me for a long time. But I need to find a doctor here in Canada and since I haven't had a full physical in about 2 years....I guess it's time. It's a bit strange here. Dr's offices overall don't do blood work. A few of the larger clinics do, but not the one Dr offices which are common. So I'll go in, talk to the Dr, we'll decide on any tests needed, then another morning, I'll go into a walk in lab to have the blood work done.

I must admit though, I think it will be interesting to see what another Dr says about some of the things I've been dealing with. I'm trying write some of them down on a list, because I'm sure I'll think it's not that important at my appointment if I don't. For example....my lower legs (calves) have been swollen for almost 5 years now. It was one of the reasons I suspected I had hypothyroidism at that time (but didn't test positive for it) Never did find a reason and never have done anything to fix it. My calves are just filled with fluid all the time. Some days are worse than others, and on those days, wearing socks actually hurts. So I'm guessing there maybe some things that a new set of eyes will see differently than my old doctor in MN.

Given my general....dislike (ok...ok...I'll admit it--it's HATRED) of doctors, this is the appointment I'm kind of dreading the most. But Pat assures me that his doctor is very good, a good listener and does amazing diagnostic work. So I'll go and see. I just never know how much of my past history I should try to explain. :( I think I'll try to talk to Pat about it before I go. I'm sure he'll say give all information possible, but sometimes I think...doctors will think I'm a bit crazy if I do that. I've just had so many odd things go wrong with me. Nothing big, but just...odd. ;) Like Ulnar Tunnel Syndrome instead of the normal Carpal variety. Or bolus impetigo instead of the regular variety. Just odd stuff. So I tend to not give as full a history as I probably should.

Anyway...if any of you readers have any ideas of things you know I should be talking to a Dr about....feel free to let me know. I'll add it to the list. ;)

It's the little stuff :)

I know.....I know. The book title is "Don't Sweat the Small Stuff." But I'm find more and more each day that it is the small stuff that is truly what makes life good. Some examples:

1. Arriving home from my first overnight shift to Pat saying "Good, you're home. I have some errands to run, but I couldn't leave until I knew you were home safe."
2. Being able to sit back, relax and watch someone else make dinner.
3. Being told "Don't let anything but fear and good judgement stop you" when I seem hesitent about making a decision.
4. Coming home from work and having a clean house, without having to do anything to make it so.
5. Making a small request to Pat that he find out if his doctor is accepting new patients now that I have health benefits here in Canada. And coming home to not only having this done, but having the appointment made and written on my calender on the fridge.

Small things. Nothing big, nothing earth shattering, but so wonderful for my feelings of well being. And in an odd way...my ego. While I've heard others say I'm important in their lives, Pat shows it in small ways. And that makes me feel...loved.

More Canadian Stuff

I've been working what will now be kind of a normal schedule for me and that means that every other week is....LONG!!!! I work an odd rotation of shifts. Two weeks of days, two weeks of overnights. One week (Sunday to Saturday) of 4 days , the next of 3. Twelve hour shifts. Last week was my 4 day week. I'm reading this and thinking...WOW that is confusing. So let me see if I can unconfuse. :)

Week one: Work Days (7:30am-7:30pm) on Monday, Tuesday, Friday and Saturday

Week two: Work Days on Sunday, Wednesday, Thursday

Week three: Work Nights (7:30pm-7:30am) on Monday, Tuesday, Friday, Saturday

Week four: Work Nights on Sunday, Wednesday and Thursday

Then back to week 1 I go. I'm currently on Monday of week 2. Although I may be doing a really weird thing next month and skipping week one....we'll see.

But anyway...this schedule is nice for a couple of reasons....one big one is the things I have to do to be here in Canada! Like getting a driver's license, insurance, title for the car, all those pesky things. And speaking of cars....moving with one to another country is a bit of a hassle. I have to have a couple of modifications (one the car company provides free! The other costs $250. So not too bad!) There will also be a few modifications I'll need before next winter (like a block heater) because everywhere (and I do mean everywhere!) here has places to plug your car in!

So last week I got the paperwork I needed for some of this....and found I need driving records from my last two states of residence. Basically for every year since 1995 that I've gone without an accident or moving violation....I get 2% off the basic insurance rate (up to 20%) Hmmmm....one accident in that time....no tickets.....So hopefully...I'll get a really good rating! :)

Independence/dependence/connection

Ok...I admit it...that was a bit of an odd title. :)

But I've been having a bit of a problem and if you are reading this and have some opinion...I'd like to hear it.

The problem in a nutshell is....How do you as an adult starting over show/feel your independence from your family, while maintaining some connection, but not allowing yourself to become dependent on them or them to be dependent on you?

I saw on TV an ad for that show that does interventions with people dealing with addictions and it was brought up that maybe the mother who emails/calls/visits her daughter daily....maybe a bit addicted to her family. And that the crying/over the top guilt/franticness of the relationship maybe contributing to her daughter's problems. And I can see that. As I have a mom who is doing much the same.

I know I haven't kept in as close a contact as she would like....but then...don't I get a say in how close we are? So anyway...any advice...would be nice. :)

My first few days at work

It feels so nice to type that! Yay!!!!!


That being said...wow do I feel OLD!!!! My coworkers seem to be about 10-15 years younger than I am. So needless to say...not a lot in common. But as after training I'll only be seeing most of them for meetings or for a few minutes as we change shifts...it's not a big deal. :)

One seems really good...good with consumers, good with fellow workers, good with managers. Another...not so good. :( And this is my shift opposite (IE...I'll work a day shift to her night shift or vis/versa.) I think it will end up being a problem. I can foresee me having to talk to my manager about some of the things I saw and will probably see while I'm there. :( I hate being in the position, but I don't want to be in any way, shape or form responsible for something that she has messed up. So I guess...I'll just wait and see.

The company I work for has 4 group homes. Two are pretty standard, 3-4 consumers, similar interests, ages, and ability levels. One is a respite home...anywhere from 1-8 consumers, any and all ages, ability levels etc. And the last is called the crisis house. 1-2 consumers, with both developmental and mental health issues (although we don't take in someone who is in medical or mental health emergency status) This house provides a kind of half way house for people to stabilize after a real crisis is over. So this is where my first full time posting will be. Starting next week Friday night.

I get this weekend off, training Monday-Tuesday, off Wednesday-Thursday, working Friday-Sunday. With this odd shift/rotating days....I'm really glad for my Yahoo calender to keep up. :)

Two Years

It's funny I think.....

My work visa is good for 2 years. During that time, I'll apply for permanent residence and so the two years will become meaningless. But I started thinking about this amount of time this week for several reasons. And I started to notice an odd trend.

Two years ago....Curt was sentenced, I met someone who started a realization in me that I was worth far far more than I thought I was, I started back to church after a long hiatus.

Two years before that....I was trying to find help for my depression (even if I refused to admit what was wrong). It had hit the point where I weighted almost 250 lbs, but could almost not eat solid foods because I felt like something was stuck in my throat and food made me choke. (Severe acid reflux was what was the problem--can often happen in depression--started taking pepcid daily...it went away and I started eating...and losing weight. Go figure...when you cut calories to 1/2 what the body is used to...your body responds by storing what you do eat to fat.
:( Yeah...that was a fun time. Curt had his last affair.

Two years before that....Mamma died. A young girl came into our lives in a big way (and led to Curt's current location) I gave up trying to have children.

Two years before that...I left a long time (8 year) employer, after being told I'd hit the glass ceiling there. Curt and I stopped going to church. Curt had another affair

Two years before that....I was diagnosed with arthritis and told I needed to quit interpreting within 1-3 years if I wanted to use my hands all my life. (I left 9 months later)

Two years before that...Curt was in trouble with the law for the first time. (petty theft) I was told I had "infertility problems" Curt's second affair

Two years before that...Curt had his first affair.

Two years before that...I gave up on teaching.

Obviously...things happened in between those two year marks. Important things. Big things. But it was just a bit spooky to realize some of the big things seem to happen every two years. Not to mention the realization of just how much I've had happen in my life in the last 16 years.

So anyway...If you are now thinking of two years...so am I. ;)

YAY!!!! I START WORKING TODAY!!!

Finally, I get to start working! 9am. Today is a training and paperwork day, but I'm starting the same day as another employee, so we'll get to do it together! And I'll start earning a paycheck! Or as they spell it here...paycheque. ;) Ah, these crazy Canadians, eh? Using all these odd British spellings.

I should mention how I finally got the work permit. At the end of last week, I heard from Detroit (the Canadian consulate closest to my home state where they handle work permits) that they didn't feel they had jurisdiction due to me being in Canada already. But I'd already talked to the Canadian Immigration office and was told to send it back to the US. Catch 22! But---wait, border services is actually the issuer of the permit--can they break this mess open? YES!

So on Monday, I went to the border service office in my new home city (as there is an international airport here, we have a border services office) But they will only do this if you are getting off a plane. UGH!!!!

So on Tuesday...I drove to the US border (about a 2 1/2 hour trip). I got up really early was on the road by 6am, got to the border and started talking about getting the permit at 8:30. (I'm sticking with the time I felt it was--even if the border was using the same time as ND (Central daylight vs Central Standard(or Mountain) time. So after about 45 minutes....I am getting worried. I don't think this officer is going to give me a permit. UGH!!! He suggests I go into the US, get some coffee and a donut and relax for a while then come back across (as I would have to do anyway to get this permit) and we'll talk more then after he makes some calls.

So I do. And I make some calls too. To my employer--to let her know what the officer's problems are and that she may have to go to bat for me if she wants me. :) Which she does. A lot! So when the call came, and she was asked about me....she came through with flying colors! I'm sooooooooo happy! The entire problem boiled down to two things. One: Completed some post-secondary education. To me, to my employer, and as far as I've been able to tell, to everyone else who reads this phrase it means---you have something besides high school under your belt. Whether that is a tech school, some college coursework, or a degree is beside the point. The idea here is just that you have something other than just a high school diploma. The officer chose to interpret it as you have complete a course of study beyond high school and have a degree or certificate showing this. Which I don't. And don't need for this job. So he had to have it explained to him in small words....and he didn't like the fact that it was not his way. The second problem was like the first. Experience: 1-2 yrs in a social service field. He interpreted it to mean 1-2 years in the specific social service field of House supervision! Which is NOT what was intended. The experience part was just so you don't come into the job thinking it would be easy. The employer wanted candidates to 1: be a little bit older (hence the experience part so they don't get 18-20 year olds applying) and 2: wanted candidates who had worked with developmentally (intellectually is the word used up here) disabled people before. Which I have! so....anyway...back to the border.

While waiting for word back from employer and Service Canada (kind of an overall, umbrella gov't regulation/assistance organization), the officer decided to get really picky. He brought out the job listed and required me to play show and tell at how I met each and every criteria listed. EEK!!!! Thank God I had brought with me my training schedule from my last job, my resume, my letter of recommendation from my last employer, some of my training certificates, my background checks done in US, my CPR certification. But there were 3 things he was still harping on on the list 1) creativity (I started to wish I had brought my beading, sewing or drawings with me!) but he decided that if I knew how to do these things I was probably a creative person. 2) Cooking skills. Uh, well, I've been a wife(with a husband who didn't cook) and/or lived on my own for 16 years, and I haven't starved. I've cooked for many friends and family and no one has gotten sick. But what about "professional" experience? Well, I worked in a coffee shop for a while, and passed the state health inspection. He actually looked disappointed. Which brought us to number 3) housekeeping skills. UGH!!! What to say...I mean, yes, I know I'm not the neatest person on the planet, but I try and I do tend to keep things clean, if not perfectly neat. I know how to clean a toilet, run a vacuum, do dishes, etc. But what to say about it other than home experience..... OH wait...Way back in college....I was a PCA. (Personal Care Assistant) I did home cleaning there. Some of my clients had perfect minds stuck in imperfect bodies and needed someone to be their arms and legs...so I would make meals, clean house, do the same things this is saying. A reference? Well, if absolutely needed I could try...but that was....16 years ago. And I know at least 2 of the clients have passed away since then. One died while I was still assisting her. :(

So Mr. I don't think you deserve a work permit decides to leave it up to Service Canada (who has already given a positive labour market opinion on me taking this job!) as to whether or not I'm qualified to have it. So I'm waiting in their lobby for about 45 minutes when the phone rings. I can hear the conversation thru the wall...

Officer: Yes this is he.
Yes, I see how you're interpreting that, but...
Yes, I can understand that the employer want her, but.....
No, there is no reason she can't live in Canada, but.......
Fine, I guess that is the answer then.

And then....after another 20 minutes....he comes out of the office and states "Service Canada decided your qualifications are good enough. Your employer was even contacted and spoke on your behalf. So I guess I need to issue you a work permit.

SIGH of RELIEF!!!!

YES!!!!

I'm employed! Oh, wait...I need to get a SIN (social insurance number). Please let it be easier than this.

So another 2 1/2 hrs on the road, then to the Service Canada (told you--umbrella agency) office to get the SIN. Took all of 5 minutes. Walked (in glorious 65 degree spring weather) the 3 blocks to the health insurance office to fill out paperwork to get my health card. So as of yesterday...I have Canadian health insurance. And then found out I could start work...TODAY! YAY!!!!!

Easter Joy

Easter. It always seems to be a time of celebration. Whether it is an Easter egg hunt, a new dress, a time with family or friends, it is usually a time of joy. Not to mention the reason for all these fun times--the Reason for our joy--the reserection of Jesus.

Easter this year falls close to exactly when it fell 6 years ago. How do I know? Because 6 years ago I was in P'ville (my family's original home) saying a painful goodbye. I went for a week, knowing that there was a possibility that during that time, my mamma (maternal grandma) would leave this world for her heavenly home. And she did. On April 13, 2003. The night before, I had finally said my goodbye. I was booked on a flight to go home the next afternoon, and I knew this would be the last time I had to be alone with her. I cried. I told her how much I loved her, how much I hated seeing her hurting like this, even though she was not speaking and not really with us much. I knew she could hear me. And I told her that it was ok to leave. That I was OK. And the next morning, on Palm Sunday, she was gone.

April 13th is always bit of a bittersweet time for me. On the one hand, it's a time for me to remember a woman who I loved and respected and cared for maybe more than I have anyone else in my life. But it's also a time for me to mourn her leaving this world. I know where she is, I know she is watching over me, I can still feel her love holding me close. And that is why I start feeling Easter joy, knowing that she is in that crowd of heavenly supporters and she is waiting to see me again. And oh, the long talk we will have then. :)

R E S P E C T

So I read a blog of an aquantaince the other day on respect...and I started thinking back to when I went to a leadership seminar for a company I worked for a while back. The first morning of a 4 day retreat was spent on respect. The leaders take was that there are different types of respect.
The most basic kind is what most of us probably think of as good manners. Greeting other people we meet instead of ignoring them, paying attention when someone is talking to us, waiting for our turn to talk--you know all the things about social manners we (hopefully!) learned in our early years.

He stated the next type of respect was one we give based on position. For example--even if we dislike a world leader, if we were to meet that person most of us would still be polite, considerate, and give him/her the honors due the office. Same goes on smaller scale for things like bosses at work, leaders in churches, communities, teams, etc.

The last type of respect comes from knowing a person. After hearing about what they have done, seeing how they respond to problems, finding out what makes them tick. If these things make a positive impression on us, giving that person more respect, more of ourselves is much easier.

I liked his summing up: the first is one we should do just because it makes us a better person. It is part of what defines us as "good and civil beings". The second is one we should do because it will help us succeed in life. Knowing when to give deference can be the difference in getting a job, keeping a job, making a team, being a good citizen. Learning how to determine who merits that extra respect gives us a chance to choose friends wisely, find mentors in life, and know who to turn to when times are not good.

I think I've always been good at the first two. The third....I'm still trying to figure out. ;)

Palm Sunday

So yesterday was Palm Sunday. It felt both very normal and very different than last year all at the same time. The palms were very different than I was used to. Smaller in size (not as long or as wide) but each piece was actually made up of several (mine was 8) leaves all held together on the bottom. So I brought my palm home and looked up directions for making a cross. Wow lots of ways and some with directions I couldn't get. But I got two very nice looking variations to work as well as trying out a rose bud pattern (which didn't work so well)

Music at the new church is very different. For one thing...the congragation DOES sing! Which is such a different feeling from most Catholic churches. There doesn't appear to be a specific choir (but I need to ask about that--the group that sang yesterday maybe the choir. But if so, they are all older--I'd guess the youngest member of the group at retirement age--so I'm not sure if they'd welcome a young person like me. :)

Well, I suppose a stop by the church office and a talk with the church secretary would answer those questions. One of several things I hope to do today as I am having to wait again on the Work Visa. The paperwork for it has been sent off...and should arrive in Detroit today. Yep, it had to go to the US. But hopefully I won't have to. Time will tell.