Christmas Grocery Shopping

Turkey, ham, potatoes, corn, green beans, cool whip, mini marshmallows, graham crackers, chocolate chips, holiday pretzels, caffeine free mountain dew, frozen blueberries...... and about a million other things--whew! what a day of grocery shopping. Fun.

Mom and I took in the sights of downtown B-town first however. Coffee/book shop, lady's clothing store, eclectic (read as expensive) home decor, an odd little toy shop, Hallmark, a quirky pet store and just when I was starting to wonder about our sanity---a really cool european style cafe Homemade seafood bisque and 1/2 an egg salad sandwich. MMMM--gave me energy for the grocery shopping in the afternoon!

A good day all around.

I HAVE A NEW JOB!!!!!!!!

I am now officially a job coach for Northeast Contemporary Services, Inc (NCSI--no jokes from the NCIS fans out there!) I start on Friday January 4th at 8:30 A.M.

My responsibilities will be varied--assisting consumers with work, in house or in communinity; teaching social skills, rec skills, and cooking skills classes; assisting other job coaches and staff in other skills classes and larger projects.

I am soooo excited!!!!!! Pay is decent, Benefits are inclusive and included at no additional cost to me. 3 weeks paid time off the first year, one day more each year I work to a maximum of 5 weeks! And the possibility of going back to school and getting some of it paid for.

Mental Map II--Hope

So here it is--Mental Map II--Hope.

Hope--wish, dream, want, desire, faith, feeling, joy,

Wish=something wanted, but not expected, Christmas, desire

Dream= unconscious longing,

Want=desire, something not needed,

Desire=longing, needing

Faith--belief, brings joy, something to be desired

Feeling--something intangible, helps us to be whole

Joy--see previous post!

Mental Maps--Joy

So I was talking with a friend and describing a process/idea session that Lydia reccomended for me to use with words like Joy and Happiness. So I thought I would redo the one on Joy here and then try a few new ones--Dreams and Hope.

JOY

contentment, peace, joy in the journey, Mamma, calm.

contentment= accepting what you have/are, a lack of envy, a feeling of well being

peace=a lack of strife, feeling of satisfaction, dove, white snow, quiet

Joy in the journey= process, never still, changing, always new

Mamma=steadfast, peaceful, calm, content, open with others, knew herself

Calm--peaceful, still, quiet, not chaotic,

Satisfaction=acceptence of self, acceptence of life, a full feeling.

Dove--a quiet, sad kind of sounding bird, bird representing hope,



This is a bit hard to do in a blog form--it's usually done as a word web--with connection lines between things and much more visual....but getting some of the word down is nice. Hopes and dreams to come soon....

The Archbishop's visit

Wow! What a church service. I left Church today feeling soooo energized! The Archbishop here is a saintly old gentleman who gave a beautiful homily. Comparing the temple in Jeruselem with our church. One of the things he stressed was the fact that David bought the land for the Temple. It was offered as a gift, but David refused saying that he could not offer a gift to God that cost him nothing. That gifts imply sacrifice and cost. And that we who are now receiving blessing from others sacrifice should be willing to offer our time, effort, tithe and talent to continuing that blessing. His other quote was that without our being willing to offer sacrifice that comes with a cost, we can not find the joy and peace God is trying to give us. Seems to be a theme that has come up a couple of times (parish mission, Curt, a sermon tape from mom) and in a few ways for me lately.

One was and is just a financial way. At exactly the same time that I have made a commitment to start tithing and getting my financial house back in order--I find that I have been declared as "healthy" again by the insurance company, so no more disability payments. (Thank God I already moved in with my parents!) But at the same time, I suddenly have some other job opportunities open up. So what I thought to be a small sacrifice is becoming a bigger one. But, at the same time, I am finding both joy and peace at the thought of a new job.

Interview? Why I'm I worried? I've done this...

a million times before--that is why I am worried. I am starting to feel like no one wants me. :( I know it is just a matter of time and finding the right fit. But--it's frustrating too. I mean I want to find a job that I enjoy, one that I feel like I'm helping people. But I need it to pay enough that I can live off it too. So--I have an interview today--not the "perfect job" but one I think I could enjoy. I have an information packet coming regarding another job and I have better feelings about that. So now--I just have to work on showing these folks what I can do. Curt reminded me that this is something I wanted to do when I first moved up here--and I do have many fond memories of my time in the school system working with the disabled. I love their ability to live in the now and to put all they have into the things they do. So here goes....Let the interviews start!

Weekend woes

OK--so it was just Sunday blahs. Saturday started out as a really good day. Started with a nice visit with Curt. Mom came with me so I even got a short (15 minute) nap in the car. Went to Mass, out to dinner with a friend (Bob) and his wife, then out for dessert with Dave.

So Sunday.....

Started OK--got up, got going on my day, Mom and Dad went to church, I got some things unpacked. They came home and mom had thought of another place to go look for some things for the bathroom. So after a trip to Loew's we go out to eat at a new place (Guadalajurara's in Monticello--OK, but not great) then to Target, then home. So far--a bit annoyed as I had told mom I wanted to stay home and get all my stuff unpacked as I have another busy few days ahead of me and wanted to spend most of yesterday on this. (it's now 2:30) Home we go and Dad has to do some work from last week as he spent most of Thursday afternoon on my car troubles. So I should have had time, right? Wrong. Mom needed help with Christmas stuff, then she want to talk about what I am doing, then she wants to ask about a dozen questions, not giving me time to answer any of them. It's now almost 4 and I've accomplished nothing since 11 am.

When mom follows me into my bedroom and starts taking things out of my closet--I loose it. No, no screaming match, no swearing, not even a raised voice. Just "Mom--Let me deal with that later OK? I can get my own dirty clothes into the laundry room". To which she replies "well if you need to tell me to leave just say don't go away mad, just go away." and walks out of my room.

No, I chose not to follow her. This is a lesson she does need to learn--that I do need some space. And talking to her about it hasn't worked. So maybe--feeling like she was thrown out will. Except that now I feel like a heel. I mean after all my folks have been doing for me.... but I am an adult and I need to have someplace I can retreat to without being followed. I need a place to call my own. And I need a place that has nothing of mom's in it. I took my dirty clothes and empty hangers to the laundry room this morning as I said I would do. So I am hoping maybe we have a bit of an agreement on that.

Now if I can get mom and dad to get that a closed door means--Knock, wait and when I say come in, then open the door.....