How fast can I move?

No I am not talking about speed races, but rather how quickly can I get all my things packed and out of the house I've been renting part of and into my parents or Lisa's house? Things just kind of keep getting worse and weirder there. I'm having a hard time getting in. :( . The landlord broke the lock we both have a key for about 2 weeks ago and still hasn't fixed it. He has taken to locking the door with a lock I don't have a key for. So I am locked out until he is around. And he makes me uncomfortable. I really don't like being there alone with him, I want to be able to get my things and start moving, but this makes it really hard. So I'll call D or another male friend tonight and see if they can go with me to retrieve the dogs and cat. And all the clothes I can fit into a car. Then hopefully I can get everything else in just a few trips. Thankfully not a lot unpacked. I guess I knew that this would not last. But it was a good stop on the way.

I hate being sick!!!!

So I woke up on Friday with a fever (103) chills, sore throught, and achey. Great-flu or strep. Called into work. Went back to bed. Woke occasionally to get hot tea or water--slept a lot. Occasionally checked e-mail (i've applied for a couple more full time positions--we'll see what happens next)

Slept all night on Friday, got up way later than I had planned on Saturday, but still got the car mostly cleaned out. Did some errands and went to mass at 4:30. I really like St. R's-the atmosphere, the people, the priest. Today's mass was on giving thanks--old testament story of Naaman, gospel of the 10 lepers. And even though a good enough homily could be made on the need to be thankful (which we all need to do more of) Fr. made sure to remind us that both Naaman and the thankful healed lepers were strangers to the Lord's table and that God didn't turn them away. Reminding us again that we can't turn others away just because they are not like us. Have I mentioned I really like this priest?

He gave a story about an RCIA candadate that during her prayers at night always counted down a "top ten" list of things to be thankful for. Reminded me of the year our youth group kept prayer journals--Used the ACTS acronym for it-

A--adoration

C--contemplation (This was the original--it was changed to something else--can't remember what--as I didn't think it needed to be changed! )

T--thanksgiving

S--supplication

We were supposed to make sure we had more things in our ACT than in our S.

One of the few times I didn't mind keeping a journal. Otherwise--I kind of hate it. But this one is needed. Just to get thing down and in some kind of order will be priceless.

My next few busy days!

So yesterday I went with Dave and Annie and got the car from lehmans. Work this morning, followed by some errands that I have been putting off as trying to get around on a bus is a bit...difficult. I mean if I had set up things like bank accounts and such thinking ahead to not being as mobile--it wouldn't be so hard, but as I did not think that way....

So thankful for D and A. They have not let me pay anything on the car. Annie's comment was that it will need enough repairs once you officially own it--don't worry about these--this is just fixing my problems before passing it on.

I hope to even get some things out to mom and dad's this evening. That would really make my day.

Then on Friday--work in the morning, artist reception at the store at 5pm and in between--helping Lisa with getting food and such ready for the artist reception.

Saturday--work in the morning, pack a bit in the afternoon, mass at 4:30 and class at 6pm. Home exhuasted at 10 or so.

Sunday--a friend, Tom is coming to visit Curt with me! Yeah!!!! I don't have to spend the 2 1/2 hours alone and Tom will help with gas too. This is such a wonderful thing.

Sunday night or Monday I'll be staying with mom (dad will be out of town) But that is ok--should go well.

So if I don't update this in the next few days.....I am just too darned busy!

My new (at least to me) car!

So I was off on the kind of car--It's a Sonata, not an Elantra. It is still silver and still has lower mileage. And still doesn't need a ton of work--but the shop had a hard time figuring out what was wrong with the breaks. It was the front calipers. Somehow I think my friends are not going to let me pay for fixing it. Tonight we retreive the car from Sears and take it to Lehmans to look at the fan for the heater/AC. It would appear to be a fuse issue, so hopefully not a lot of repair needed there either. We'll see.

I am so excited!!!!! Can't wait to drive again!!!!

Rainy days and Mondays....

don't usually get me down, but today.....

Started way too early (4:00am) to catch a bus by 4:30 to get to work by 6:30 to find that I didn't have keys to get in. Several hours, a ride with a customer and Lisa's mom coming with keys later, Work!

My weekend however--Fantastic!

Friday was able to borrow Lisa's van to see Curt! Yeah!!! Thought I wouldn't see him until this Sunday at the earliest so that was great!

Saturday--Family day. With my sister, brother-in-law and 2 nieces and a nephew as well as my mom and dad. Dinner at Red Lobster--Crab legs--YUM! And coconut cake decorated by S1 and S2 (nephew and niece).

Sunday-- Took the bus to Lisa's shop to borrow her van to go to Mass as the choir I'm in was singing. Bus was delayed 3 times due to Marathon. :( Started wondering if I was going to make it. Did, with only 15 minutes to spare before Mass. But it was nice. Loved a quote Fr. used by St. Francis--We should preach Christ constantly and if we have to even use words. I love it! Let your actions and attitude show what Christianity should be. Yep--I think that is the best type of evangelism yet.

Then went back to work for a few hours, during which Dave brought me lunch and roses. A gift from Curt. Dave had talked to Curt and worked it all out to get the flowers to me. I am such a blessed person. I keep crying when I see them. I feel so odd. So happy and sad at the same time--sometimes I think it is just not quite real. All that has happened. All that will continue to happen. But there it is. Flowers--from Curt, via Dave and all I can do is cry.

Enough! Time to go and get back to work.

So Tonight--It's the parents

How do you tell the two people in the world who you have always admired and looked up to that you have lied to them for months because you haven't wanted them to feel ashamed of you?

And How do you tell them that you are in financial crisis--that you really don't want their help (not because you don't need it, but because you want to be an adult about this, really).

How do you do all of this, while having problems with your emotional state, caused by everything happening around you, not to mention that a part of you is screaming to let them be the parents to their little girl all over again?

If anyone out there has any answers, I would be happy to accept help at this!

On a positive note, Annie has offered me her 2nd car as my own car! Needs new breaks, a tune up and may need a bit of other upkeep work (oil change etc) But it is a 2002 Hyundai Elantra. And except for the the things listed above--FREE!

YEAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!

Monday, Monday

So it is Monday.

A few more people told about my situation. Offers of help starting to come in. A longish talk with Curt, telling him all that was happening and some of the offers up to now. His perspective is always unique. His comment was--"blame me as needed! It 's not like I have any dignity left. Heck I have to strip, bend over and expose myself to another person just to go to church!"

Lydia (my psychologist) comment was "It sounds like you are at a diametric moment" OK--I know what diametric means, but how does one have a diametric moment? Like this " It was the best of times. It was the worst of times." Strangely--life can easily be both at the same time. Diametric moments. OK--I can see that.

Trying to decide how much contact to mantain with a friend who is going through his own hard time. Thought of several things I would like to share on the one hand, but on the other--wanting to respect his need to pull into himself. Guess I'll just wait and see. Maybe write down some of those thoughts for later sharing, or use as starters for this blog. We'll see.

Many more people will know what is happening after tonight. Should be interesting to see what will happen then. More Diametric moments I am sure.