So I am trying very hard not to worry....
about what will be decided about the apartment I've applied for....
about what I will do if turned down....
about some small, but nagging physical problems that I know I need to see my Dr. about, but can't find a time to do so...
about my continued mental health while living here with M&D
about my dogs' health due to their weight (problems caused by M)
and just this overall sense of dread I've been getting of late. :(
So for the few faithful readers of this....
Prayer would be greatly appreciated.
And if by chance you see me this week...and I'm looking a bit ragged....know you are not the reason. I am.
Monday, June 2, 2008
Friday, May 30, 2008
The Eucharist
So yes...this is becoming more and more a religious themed blog...deal with it. :)
But this past week has been an odd one. And one where the topic of the Eucharist keeps appearing. It's shown up in readings, in church service (Sunday was the feast of Corpus Christi), the music from the service, and just in talking with friends and family.
And Fr. F told the story of the boy and his dad out camping...Son wakes up in the middle of the night, wakes dad and asks what the stars are saying to him. Father starts to wax philosophical...talking about astronomy, theology. Then asks what they say to the son. Son replies.."They tell me someone stole our tent!"
Fr. F called this a "DUH" moment. And went on to say that as long time Catholics we need to remember that the Eucharist, while something we do each week and maybe not something we think much about, should be a DUH moment. A moment when we see it for all that it is. Our Savior, giving himself to us, to become a part of us, and we of Him. And yes, it's easy to just partake each week and not really think about it...but it is the obvious answer we must remember.
And last weekend...I was truly grateful for all the Eucharist had to give me. I really needed to hear again how this is the cornerstone of faith. That Jesus came down from heaven, by the power of the Holy Spirit, was born of a virgin and became a man. All so he could suffer, die and be buried and rise again to give us a chance at eternal life. Such perfect, amazing love.
But this past week has been an odd one. And one where the topic of the Eucharist keeps appearing. It's shown up in readings, in church service (Sunday was the feast of Corpus Christi), the music from the service, and just in talking with friends and family.
And Fr. F told the story of the boy and his dad out camping...Son wakes up in the middle of the night, wakes dad and asks what the stars are saying to him. Father starts to wax philosophical...talking about astronomy, theology. Then asks what they say to the son. Son replies.."They tell me someone stole our tent!"
Fr. F called this a "DUH" moment. And went on to say that as long time Catholics we need to remember that the Eucharist, while something we do each week and maybe not something we think much about, should be a DUH moment. A moment when we see it for all that it is. Our Savior, giving himself to us, to become a part of us, and we of Him. And yes, it's easy to just partake each week and not really think about it...but it is the obvious answer we must remember.
And last weekend...I was truly grateful for all the Eucharist had to give me. I really needed to hear again how this is the cornerstone of faith. That Jesus came down from heaven, by the power of the Holy Spirit, was born of a virgin and became a man. All so he could suffer, die and be buried and rise again to give us a chance at eternal life. Such perfect, amazing love.
Sunday, May 25, 2008
The Our Father (Lord's Prayer) in Latin
So here it is...in the common way of writing Latin today.
PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
But this is not the way it would have been written two thousand years ago. There were no punctionuation marks. No capital letters. No spaces. More like this....
paternosterquiesincaelissanctificeturnomentuumadveniatregnumtuumfiatvoluntastuasicutincaeloet interrapanemnostrumquotidianumdanobishodieetdimittenobisdebitanostrasicutetnosdimittimusdebitoribus nostrisetnenosinducasintentationemsedliberanosamaloamen
Why is that important? And why am I even mentioning it? Well...Curt is learning Greek and Latin. And saying the rosary in Latin...Which includes the Our Father. So we were discussing it. and the exact meanings of some of the words versus the way we've translated them over the years.
One of the words/phrases he thinks was a poor translation was "Daily bread". He feels it should really have more of a emphasis...like that which we must have to continue to live. That at the time of writing people thought food was more important than water or air to survival...which we know now is not the case. But the idea of that which we must have to continue to live...sounds an awful lot to me like what Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well. That the water of the well would only last for a short time...but he could give her water so she would never thirst again.
Another phrase we spoke about was the "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
Curt mentioned that he was talking his way thru this with his priest....because he felt after reading this that the wording was more like "You forgive us when we do wrong in the same way that we forgive people who hurt us." Which lead Curt to think...Wow...I'd better do a better job of forgiving people. So he now has a new thing to pray for each night. He picks the one person from the day that he is most frustrated with...and prays for them.
And as to the last...Curt said he felt like the translation should have read..."And do not cause us to be tested, but save us from the Evil." More like asking a teacher to not give the final in a class, lest we fail it utterly. And asking for protection from the terrible Evil one roaming the earth.
I kind of like these translations. Gives me lots to think on.....
PATER NOSTER, qui es in caelis, sanctificetur nomen tuum. Adveniat regnum tuum. Fiat voluntas tua, sicut in caelo et in terra. Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie, et dimitte nobis debita nostra sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris. Et ne nos inducas in tentationem, sed libera nos a malo. Amen.
But this is not the way it would have been written two thousand years ago. There were no punctionuation marks. No capital letters. No spaces. More like this....
paternosterquiesincaelissanctificeturnomentuumadveniatregnumtuumfiatvoluntastuasicutincaeloet interrapanemnostrumquotidianumdanobishodieetdimittenobisdebitanostrasicutetnosdimittimusdebitoribus nostrisetnenosinducasintentationemsedliberanosamaloamen
Why is that important? And why am I even mentioning it? Well...Curt is learning Greek and Latin. And saying the rosary in Latin...Which includes the Our Father. So we were discussing it. and the exact meanings of some of the words versus the way we've translated them over the years.
One of the words/phrases he thinks was a poor translation was "Daily bread". He feels it should really have more of a emphasis...like that which we must have to continue to live. That at the time of writing people thought food was more important than water or air to survival...which we know now is not the case. But the idea of that which we must have to continue to live...sounds an awful lot to me like what Jesus said to the Samaritan woman at Jacob's well. That the water of the well would only last for a short time...but he could give her water so she would never thirst again.
Another phrase we spoke about was the "Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us, and lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil."
Curt mentioned that he was talking his way thru this with his priest....because he felt after reading this that the wording was more like "You forgive us when we do wrong in the same way that we forgive people who hurt us." Which lead Curt to think...Wow...I'd better do a better job of forgiving people. So he now has a new thing to pray for each night. He picks the one person from the day that he is most frustrated with...and prays for them.
And as to the last...Curt said he felt like the translation should have read..."And do not cause us to be tested, but save us from the Evil." More like asking a teacher to not give the final in a class, lest we fail it utterly. And asking for protection from the terrible Evil one roaming the earth.
I kind of like these translations. Gives me lots to think on.....
and once again...
it's been a month. :P
But then...soooo much has happened. And this took last priority. But soon...I hope to have more time on my hands. Lots more. Which would be sooooo nice.
Work is going really well. Had my first annual meeting. Went fine. 2nd is tomorrow. Have written one annual (for the meeting tomorrow) and have a second well underway, even though that meeting isn't until late June.
Meanwhile....I found an apt. I like. :) In an area I'm comfortable with. Which allows dogs/cats. :)
With any luck...move in date in June 7. Nice.
Still waiting on college stuff to start in earnest.
But then...soooo much has happened. And this took last priority. But soon...I hope to have more time on my hands. Lots more. Which would be sooooo nice.
Work is going really well. Had my first annual meeting. Went fine. 2nd is tomorrow. Have written one annual (for the meeting tomorrow) and have a second well underway, even though that meeting isn't until late June.
Meanwhile....I found an apt. I like. :) In an area I'm comfortable with. Which allows dogs/cats. :)
With any luck...move in date in June 7. Nice.
Still waiting on college stuff to start in earnest.
Thursday, April 24, 2008
May 12 :)
So on May 12, I will change job titles. Same company, same clients....new responsibilities and new benefits!
I'll become a case manager. I'll have a case load. (specific clients whose well being at work I am responsible for!) And I'll have to do paperwork. :P
But it means a 20% increase in hourly pay, 2 1/2 additional hours of work each week, additional time off, more holiday pay. :) So I guess...it balances out.
Lots to do before then. People to meet, files to read, paperwork to fill out, forms to get signed and turned in. But I am so excited. I feel like I am accomplishing something good with my life. Something I've not felt in way too long.
I'll become a case manager. I'll have a case load. (specific clients whose well being at work I am responsible for!) And I'll have to do paperwork. :P
But it means a 20% increase in hourly pay, 2 1/2 additional hours of work each week, additional time off, more holiday pay. :) So I guess...it balances out.
Lots to do before then. People to meet, files to read, paperwork to fill out, forms to get signed and turned in. But I am so excited. I feel like I am accomplishing something good with my life. Something I've not felt in way too long.
Friday, April 18, 2008
Rule of my life
So I subscribe to a list serve that is a discussion between Evangelicals (or former ones--:) ) and Orthodox Christians. One of the regular posters puts up a post called "A Word from the Desert" A few days ago...this was the post.
A brother went to see an anchorite and as he was
leaving said to him, "Forgive me, Abba, for having
taken you away from your rule." But the other answered
him, "My rule is to refresh you and to send you away
in peace."
And it dawned on me...if I wanted to make a rule (way to live) as direction for my life...it would be the same as this anchorite. In all my relationships...friends, family, work, acquaintances, whatever...I want my prayer to be..."Lord, let me refresh the people I come into contact with this day and send them away in peace."
It may not sound like much...but how many of us yearn for peace? How many people need to feel refreshed?
Clearly this is not a new problem. Nor a specifically Orthodox idea. :) The prayer of St. Francis speaks of it too..
I thought at one point that it was something more Jesus spoke of on the mount when he said
"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God" But I am starting to think that the peacemakers are not those who stop wars, but those who strive daily to bring peace and refreshment to any weary and dry people they encounter.
So my prayer today is....
May God send you peace and refreshment this day. If you come into contact with me and need refreshing, may I be the spring where you can find to water a dry and weary soul. If peace is what you seek, and you encounter me, may God use me to help you find what you are searching for.
A brother went to see an anchorite and as he was
leaving said to him, "Forgive me, Abba, for having
taken you away from your rule." But the other answered
him, "My rule is to refresh you and to send you away
in peace."
And it dawned on me...if I wanted to make a rule (way to live) as direction for my life...it would be the same as this anchorite. In all my relationships...friends, family, work, acquaintances, whatever...I want my prayer to be..."Lord, let me refresh the people I come into contact with this day and send them away in peace."
It may not sound like much...but how many of us yearn for peace? How many people need to feel refreshed?
Clearly this is not a new problem. Nor a specifically Orthodox idea. :) The prayer of St. Francis speaks of it too..
- Lord, make me an instrument of Thy peace;
- where there is hatred, let me sow love;
- where there is injury, pardon;
- where there is doubt, faith;
- where there is despair, hope;
- where there is darkness, light;
- and where there is sadness, joy.
- O Divine Master,
- grant that I may not so much seek to be consoled as to console;
- to be understood, as to understand;
- to be loved, as to love;
- for it is in giving that we receive,
- it is in pardoning that we are pardoned,
- and it is in dying that we are born to Eternal Life.
- Amen.
I thought at one point that it was something more Jesus spoke of on the mount when he said
"Blessed are the peacemakers for they shall be called the children of God" But I am starting to think that the peacemakers are not those who stop wars, but those who strive daily to bring peace and refreshment to any weary and dry people they encounter.
So my prayer today is....
May God send you peace and refreshment this day. If you come into contact with me and need refreshing, may I be the spring where you can find to water a dry and weary soul. If peace is what you seek, and you encounter me, may God use me to help you find what you are searching for.
Sunday, March 23, 2008
Holy Week
More and more lately this blog is becoming about my faith. But then...I'm kind of coming home to faith after an extended absence. And Holy Week this year...meant more than it has in a long, long time.
Where to start....Well I guess I'll back up to a week ago, Palm Sunday. Actually...the Saturday before. I went to see Curt. It was a tough visit. It was an anniversary of sorts for us. One year down, seven more before he is in my arms again. Oof. It was hard. Add to that a kind of...odd conversation about regrets and what some of ours are and aren't. (no, if I haven't told you in person...you don't get to know! Some things are best left unwritten. ;) And regrets are one of them!) So I left with tears in my eyes and a sorrowful heart. But a couple of friends that night, at church and at dinner really helped me through. :) Which was about the only reason I had enough strength and energy for Palm Sunday singing.
Palm Sunday at my church starts outside. The church is located on a fairly major road, so we are really visible with our palm branches out there! We invite the preschool and younger grade school kids to join us (choir and priest and deacon) while we read the story of Jesus' Entry to Jerusalem. Then we walk to the church, singing hosanna and waving our palms. :) It was really neat.
Then the last of my church small group meetings until May. :) I have come to love this group of people. I think some of them have become a bit cynical and maybe a bit....burnt out as far as church goes. But they are still trying, still fighting the good fight. And I am glad to see it and maybe be a part of the healing process for them. It was a nice last time for talks on evangelization. In May...we'll talk about the beatitudes.
Tuesday was choir practice. Good time. I love my choir. Supportive. Helpful. Loving. Sarcastic. Funny. Sweet. In other words...My kind of people. :P
Wednesday was the night off. Whew. Glad it was in the middle of the week!
Thursday was a really good service. Choir sang for it. Foot washing. (didn't participate...I have some....issues with my feet. ) And my small group leader was the person passing out Eucharist to the choir. :) It was really neat to see her and take the host from her hands. And for this week, the hosts were replaced with pieces of an actual loaf of bread. Made by a parish member. Who unexpectedly passed away in her sleep that morning. Somehow it made it all the more touching and real. I can't explain it better than that.
Friday was a kind of odd day for me. I was a bit tired, starting to come down with something, and the weather was kind of...odd. Bad in places and better in others. Decided not to risk staying too far from home (home and work/church are about an hour drive apart.) So I went to my parents church's Easter musical. Cute. Story focuses around Andrew and Peter and two angels in the weather department of heaven. Peter being the older brother who looks a bit like Red from the Red/Green show. :P And like Red, can't count past 10. So things like 12 tribes, 12 apostles...really bug him. And Andrew...well, he can count.....but is a bit lacking in the tact and poise. (Red/Green fans...think of the nephew here) The story starts at the wedding at Cana and goes through the resurrection. Good music, cute story sections....but somehow...I just couldn't compare it to the night before. It seemed...shallow.
Saturday was a day of rest....and an evening to remember. :) Easter Vigil is always a good service....Always. But to be able to sing at it, sponsor a friend in joining the church, and celebrate the hope we have as Christians.....was wonderful. The "bells and smells" as a friend puts it...were so well planned and so beautiful. So able to put one into the spirit and remind us of all we believe. :) Tradition and pageantry. Yep...Catholics do that pretty well.
Easter Sunday...was...restful. And as I am writing this several weeks later....was perhaps the last good day I had with my parents. :( But I am glad it was a good day for us. Gives me something to look back on with hope for a better future, when some distance allows us to better relate to each other without making each other crazy.
Holy Week was.....Holy, happy, and satisfying to my soul. :)
Where to start....Well I guess I'll back up to a week ago, Palm Sunday. Actually...the Saturday before. I went to see Curt. It was a tough visit. It was an anniversary of sorts for us. One year down, seven more before he is in my arms again. Oof. It was hard. Add to that a kind of...odd conversation about regrets and what some of ours are and aren't. (no, if I haven't told you in person...you don't get to know! Some things are best left unwritten. ;) And regrets are one of them!) So I left with tears in my eyes and a sorrowful heart. But a couple of friends that night, at church and at dinner really helped me through. :) Which was about the only reason I had enough strength and energy for Palm Sunday singing.
Palm Sunday at my church starts outside. The church is located on a fairly major road, so we are really visible with our palm branches out there! We invite the preschool and younger grade school kids to join us (choir and priest and deacon) while we read the story of Jesus' Entry to Jerusalem. Then we walk to the church, singing hosanna and waving our palms. :) It was really neat.
Then the last of my church small group meetings until May. :) I have come to love this group of people. I think some of them have become a bit cynical and maybe a bit....burnt out as far as church goes. But they are still trying, still fighting the good fight. And I am glad to see it and maybe be a part of the healing process for them. It was a nice last time for talks on evangelization. In May...we'll talk about the beatitudes.
Tuesday was choir practice. Good time. I love my choir. Supportive. Helpful. Loving. Sarcastic. Funny. Sweet. In other words...My kind of people. :P
Wednesday was the night off. Whew. Glad it was in the middle of the week!
Thursday was a really good service. Choir sang for it. Foot washing. (didn't participate...I have some....issues with my feet. ) And my small group leader was the person passing out Eucharist to the choir. :) It was really neat to see her and take the host from her hands. And for this week, the hosts were replaced with pieces of an actual loaf of bread. Made by a parish member. Who unexpectedly passed away in her sleep that morning. Somehow it made it all the more touching and real. I can't explain it better than that.
Friday was a kind of odd day for me. I was a bit tired, starting to come down with something, and the weather was kind of...odd. Bad in places and better in others. Decided not to risk staying too far from home (home and work/church are about an hour drive apart.) So I went to my parents church's Easter musical. Cute. Story focuses around Andrew and Peter and two angels in the weather department of heaven. Peter being the older brother who looks a bit like Red from the Red/Green show. :P And like Red, can't count past 10. So things like 12 tribes, 12 apostles...really bug him. And Andrew...well, he can count.....but is a bit lacking in the tact and poise. (Red/Green fans...think of the nephew here) The story starts at the wedding at Cana and goes through the resurrection. Good music, cute story sections....but somehow...I just couldn't compare it to the night before. It seemed...shallow.
Saturday was a day of rest....and an evening to remember. :) Easter Vigil is always a good service....Always. But to be able to sing at it, sponsor a friend in joining the church, and celebrate the hope we have as Christians.....was wonderful. The "bells and smells" as a friend puts it...were so well planned and so beautiful. So able to put one into the spirit and remind us of all we believe. :) Tradition and pageantry. Yep...Catholics do that pretty well.
Easter Sunday...was...restful. And as I am writing this several weeks later....was perhaps the last good day I had with my parents. :( But I am glad it was a good day for us. Gives me something to look back on with hope for a better future, when some distance allows us to better relate to each other without making each other crazy.
Holy Week was.....Holy, happy, and satisfying to my soul. :)
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